Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Angel of the Evening

The petite (5'2" 100 lb) Donna Wilkes got her SAG card at 17 from a role in the Tim Matheson/Didi Conn vehicle Almost Summer (1978) which led to a role in Jaws 2. She played the oldest daughter in TV's Hello, Larry for one season in 1979 (until she was fired and replaced). She played a drug addict on "Days of Our Lives" and a problem teen in a Linda Carter TV-movie. By 1984, Donna, age 25, was starring in her first leading role in Angel ("Honor Student by Day / Hollywood Hooker by Night"). The $3 million dollar indie was such a hit and moneymaker that it spawned 3 film sequels (all bombs with new actresses in title role) and film imitators ("Savage Streets" with Linda Blair).

The 'Angel' press release began with the line:
What's a nice girl like Donna Wilkes doing portraying a teenage hooker? Or a teenage alcoholic? Or an unmarried, pregnant teenager?

Angel (1984) is a real classic in my book. It features 15-year-old likeable orphan Molly Stewart living on her own trying to get her diploma and working as a street whore to pay the bills. Her landlady is a foul-mouthed, cigar smoking lesbian named Solly (played by Susan Tyrrell) and Molly/Angel's pals include a street clown named "Yo Yo" and a has-been cowboy actor "Kit Carson" (played by Rory Calhoun - a real life has-been cowboy actor). Molly/Angel's fairy godmother Mae is a transvestite played by Dick Shawn, and her guardian angel LAPD pal is played by Cliff Gorman. The plot involves "Angel" trying not to get killed by a serial killer running loose around 80s Hollywood.

The scene of scenes comes later in the flick when Solly and Mae viciously fight over a game of cribbage. The dialogue goes like this:

Dick Shawn as Mae: That's called cheating, it's not nice.

Susan Tyrrell as Solly: How fuckin' dare you. How fuckin' dare you, you CUNT! To think I have to cheat to beat the likes of you !!

Dick Shawn as Mae: My father warned me, he said Rachel - never play cards with a jewish dyke - they cheat !

Susan Tyrrell as Solly: Ah screw you, Lulabelle !


fun fact: Donna Wilkes had a short-lived marriage at age 19 to 40-year-old Billy Gray (TV's Bud Anderson from Father Knows Best).

Extra fun fact from a wiki contributor: The motel in the film is the El Royale Motel at 11117 Ventura Boulevard, North Hollywood. It has scarcely changed since this film was shot in 1983. In fact, most of the film was shot at real locations on and around Hollywood Boulevard.

Donna Wilkes' last role was on TV in 1991. Wilkes turns fifty this November 11, 2009.

You owe it to yourself to learn about all things Donna here:

Monday, September 28, 2009

" I thought I could handle it."

Lily Tomlin does a humorous faux-PSA on the dangers of PacMan.

This is a variation on her Laugh-In audition monologue "Lucille - the rubber freak" who starts chewing on pencil erasers then finds herself hooked.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Human Centipede

Do we want to see this? The synopsis is too weird not to want to!

Internationally respected Siamese twin surgeon Dr. Josef Heiter has a demented vision for mankind’s future existence. He wants to remove human beings’ kneecaps so they have to exist on all fours and then surgically graft them mouth-to-anus to form a centipede chain. When two stranded female Americans arrive at his luxury home-cum-hospital looking for help, his long-gestating plan swiftly moves into chilling action with a shocking force. Kidnapping a third Japanese male tourist he begins the tissue matches, teeth removal and buttock moulding to create his triplet creature.

And people though "Boxing Helena" was weird!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Playboy Bunny Heaven

If there is such a thing as an afterlife, I really wish you could create your own personal heaven. Spending all eternity like this video would definitely be what I would want. I can't see it getting much better than this.

Gordon, the Pimp

What? He be sellin' ass out on Sesame Street? I can't believe I never saw "Willie Dynamite" before, because as most of you know, I sure do love blaxploitation and am fairly well schooled in it. That makes it even more fun when a gem like this pops up on TCM of all places (who is programming over there? Just hearing Robert Osborne say "Next up, Willie Dynamite" kills me.) Imagine my surprise when Willie turned out to be none other than Gordon of Sesame Street! What? That's right, kiddies! This fine piece of cinematic treasure features costumes so mindblowing that even the NYC crowds stand and gape in the background scenes. Watch the pimp council:

Wonder if Gordon ever brought his "magic watch" to Sesame Street ...

"Is that so unbelievable - to believe?"

Sylvia Miles vs. Pat Ast -- ogling Joe Dallesandro in Andy Warhol's HEAT.

God Bless the late Pat Ast - she could adlib dialogue like nobody else.

"Here we are talkin' chum to chum."

"Whaddya mean what do I mean?"

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Gimme The Mermaid

Pantheon's post about The Little Mermaid reminded me of a weird video I saw a couple of years ago that featured Ariel. It was rumored that the video was made by a Disney animator on the sly which made it seem so very subversive. Turns out the rumor was true and here's the story according to the info on YouTube (You can find anything on YouTube. Love the YouTube.):

This piece was commissioned by the experimental sound collage group Negativland for the video compilation, "Our Favorite Things," soon to be released. The track had been cut by Negativland several years before, an audio document of their problems with copyright/trademark issues concerning their "U2" album. Many years and a painful settlement later, they had successfully transformed their experience into even more art, and a little activism besides. This little piece, made on Disney equipment after hours when no one was looking, remains quite popular. San Francisco experimental filmmaker Craig Baldwin has been kind enough to include it in "culture jamming" programs he has organized throughout the US and Europe. Several times has it been used in conferences and on panels about copyright for the legal profession.
And it's fun, to boot. The statute of limitations has apparently run out on this piece, and it is now considered perfectly legal. What a relief!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dirrrty Disney

The Little Mermaid (1989) was the film that brought Disney animation out of their Fox & the Hound toilet and into a 20-year reign as hitmakers of animated musical films with accompanying soundtracks of top 40 hits and Broadway shows. Speaking of cartoon tunes, doesn't Ashman-Menken's "Somewhere That's Green" (From their Little Shop of Horrors) sound alot like their later Mermaid's "Part of Your World?"

Oh well, it's all about 'Somewhere Over The Green Rainbow World' for those gays, I suppose.

People also made a fuss when the posters and home video design showed a phallic spire rising from the sea floor. The artist swears it was not intentional. Ofcourse when mags started talking about the cock in the shot - a concerned parent did a double take and complained - so the art work was later altered.

read the snopes details here

A couple years later, Disney's Aladdin would revise their original theatrical lyric about barbaric Baghdad as a place "Where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face" to "Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense" on the later film/CD releases.

But back to the Little Spermaid (as I would have likely called it back then - if I was playing my time killer game of making up porn titles of current films while waiting in line at the cinema) -- why didn't they change the questionable lyric (for concerned parents with no life, ofcourse) in the film's song UNDER THE SEA?

I am referring to the saucy "Darling it's better down where it's wetter."
I mean Reeeeeeallly. Who are we kidding?
I guess sick minds think alike -- I found this on-line.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Long Live The New Flesh!

One of my favorite movies is Videodrome, mainly because it deals with the horrors of Cable TV and home taping (on Beta!!!), which are two things that scared 1983 Hollywood more than the average person. Never before has Hollywood so nakedly laid out it's fears for the world to see.

Monday, September 21, 2009

One Man's Niche-y Obsession

Steven Hills Movie Title Pages. Just....endless, hundreds, assloads of movie title screens. Has to be seen to:
A: Be believed
B: Be appreciated
let's face it - this stuff is an impact making few seconds of any film (for instance, in my house we say, "Cartoon opening; good movie." - think about it - it's true) and Senor Hill has made it his mission, with just a hint of "WTF?!?"

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Jaan Pehechaan Ho

My favorite movie musical number ever, which circulated around for years on bootlegged VHS tapes from the Bollywood classic "Gumnaam" (I finally own a gorgeous DVD copy) before it surfaced for real in "Ghost World." Here it is in its original form:

now watch it lovingly referenced in "Om Shanti Om" - it starts about 2:10 with the familiar drum roll:

Thanks, Danielle!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Guilty Pleasure: BET's 'American Gangster'

Now, you know these shows. There's never a good ending. The guy's either in jail, or gets killed in jail, or is out of jail and dead. Imagine my delight when on last night's Midget Molley episode (he wore a crown! I mean, I love anyone who wears crowns - James Brown, Solomon Burke, King Vitamin - you name it, they're crowned, I'm their fan), Molley is not only a free man, he is a community activist in Atlantic City. And he's got his own youtube channel. Go, Midget!

Hmm - BET's page won't let me cut and paste. You can watch here. Oddly, it stars with a feminine hygiene ad. Maybe their know their audience. Want to know more? Here's a wiki, his myspace, and his website.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Take a vibrant work, and give it arthritis by beating it over and over with stars and cash then beat it with more stars and cash. Some mid-to-high points here and there but, as stated, arthritically executed. They should've taken Van Sant director's license away after this one.....plus where'd he get Sissy's thumbs? Spencer gifts? One might add, all that was missing was Drew Barrymore!


Please disagree with me - I need to see something in all that emptiness........

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Creature of the Black lagoon

The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) is by far one of the best monster movies of all time. Filmed in 3D as many new are now I thought it was a good time to remind people of not only a great film, but a pretty good trilogy. Many people don’t realize that «Creature» was a trilogy. «Revenge of the Creature» and «The Creature Walks Amoung US» followed up, with limited success at the box office but actually expanded teh mythos of the gillman in ways you just don’t see in today’s monster flicks. Many classic monsters we not just villians, in fact humans were usually the evil force... going into nature and distubing it’s natural balance, attacking things they didn’t unsterstand and sometimes people were just plain sadistic jerks in the name of «science».

The creature is no exception and even expands on the theme. In the first film, explorers go into the jungle find a living gillman and think of nothing but capturing him to make money off it, the second film, they bring him back to an aquarium and «experiment» on him by giving him electric shocks (where did these scientist go to school? Was Illsa - She wolf of the SS a professor there?). The third film really gets poignant as the gillman loses his gills and is made to wear clothes and become «one of us». In the end he finds his way back into tthe ocean... and drowns.

Technically, the costume of the monster is fantastic, scary and not at all like a cheap halloween costume some people expect from films from that era. The music is memorable particularly since the theme is played literally HUNDREDS of times through the film which sadly lends itself to parody despite the fact that little riff is quite jarring to hear. The 3D is as annoying as always (only the 1st 2 films use it BTW). 3D is almost always, without fail, a headache inducing, distracting experience, even with today’s «advancements» in the technology.

In short... spend a Saturday afternoon watching all 3 before it gets remade by Micheal Bay... seriously.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Oliver Twist

Dickens + Iron Curtain Musicals + the Czech Language + Big Hair + the Twist =

Anyone speak Czech?

PS. Want more? I'm on a bender at Lethal Dose.

John Zacherley - Dinner with Dracula

and here's "The Cool Ghoul" on the Mike Douglas Show.

Who is Zacherley? Read here. You can see my autographed pic of Zacherely here.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Lotta Livin' To Do

'Bye, Bye Birdie' is about to be mounted again on Broadway for the first time in half a century - the new show stars John Stamos and Gina Gershon (in the roles of Albert and Rosie created by Dick Van Dyke and Chita Rivera). Dick Gautier (of countless 70s gameshows) played Conrad Birdie - the teen idol drafted into the Army.

I thought I would take a moment to remember the actor/singer Jesse Pearson.

Jesse Pearson was a young actor and singer from Oklahoma who was chosen for the part of Conrad Birdie in the national stage company of the musical Bye, Bye Birdie. The producers of the film liked Jesse's performance enough to cast him in the same role for the 1963 movie (when he was age 32).

In the film, Jesse sang 3 songs: "You Gotta Be Sincere", "One Last Kiss", and "I Got a Lotta Livin' To Do". Despite excellent reviews for his work in 'Birdie' - Jesse, like many actors in Hollywood, found it difficult getting other acting jobs. He played (the same sorta) hillbilly turned rock star (named Johnny Poke) on 2 early Beverly Hillbillies episodes (1964) and played Mayberry singer Keevy Hazelton on Andy Griffith Show (1966).

He released a single on RCA, "Talk to Me Baby" that was featured on the Bye, Birdie soundtrack album. Besides his 60s TV work, he got a small part in the film "Don't Go Near the Water."

Poet/Songbird Rod McKuen adds:

I met Jesse when, between acting jobs, he came to work for me as an assistant. He stayed with me until I was lucky enough to find Gerry Robinson who became my secretary, assistant and confidant for two decades until her retirement. Jesse remained a life long friend to Edward, Gerry, Wade and me. When casting a voice for "The Sea" I felt his presence and intimate vocal quality was just what the project needed. He was easy to direct and both Anita Kerr (who wrote all the music for The San Sebastian Strings albums) and I found him a joy to work with. He was the voice on "The Sea," "Home to the Sea" and "The Soft Sea." Later he did two more albums for Stanyan, "The Body Electric" & "The Body Electric, Two." They consisted of Jesse reading the erotic poetry of Walt Whitman that I had set to music.

Hear Jesse's sexy talk here

He was a kind, sweet, handsome and more than a little complicated man. In the hands of the right agents and managers his charm, acting ability and lanky good looks should have made him a natural for film and TV work.


Jesse resurfaced in 1979, using the pseudonym “A. Fabritzi”, as the writer/director of two pornographic films (ie: Pro-Ball Cheerleaders, Legend of Lady Blue).

His career as helmer of adult films was just beginning when Mr. Pearson died at age 49 from cancer on December 5, 1979 in Monroe, Louisiana.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Russ Meyer's THE SEVEN MINUTES (1971)

SEE 7 IN 10!!
Here it is in a nutshell, featuring Charles Napier, John Carradine, Edy Williams, Tom Selleck, Wolfman Jack, Olan Soule (voice of Batman on The Superfriends), Yvonne Decarlo, and the bodice busting bombshells Shawn 'Baby Doll' Devereaux (cocktease in a yellow dress) and Yvonne D'Angers (who goes from unsatisfied sexpot to rape victim in the same scene).

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Tura Answers!

Anonymous: I read in "Shock Value" that John Waters met Russ Meyer but I always wondered if he ever had a chat with Tura ? "Faster Pussycat" was such a strong influence on him & his movies. Thanks!

Yes. John and I met in San Francisco and we discussed that, and talked about doing a film together! He told me how much Divine worshipped the ground I walked on (Tura laughs.) Divine was something else!

Lex10 said...

Q: What's your favorite perfume?

Your close Facebook friend,

A. Luna Mystique by Prince Matchabelli. Which they no longer make. They no longer make it because some idiot women sued them because they said it didn't smell good on them! Well, I wonder why. When you stink, you stink, what can I tell you? It didn't smell good on them, but it smelled great on me. I can leave a room and everyone can smell me after I've left.

September 2, 2009 8:02 PM

The Hound said...

I'm curious if when she was an exotic dancer if she had a theme song or a favorite tune that she used in her show.

A. Yes! The first song was called "The Lure of Tura," and the second song was "Tura's Dream," (I wish I had my music with me) and the third song was "Go Tura!" The music was written by a bandleader of the Hudson Theater in Union City, NJ named Joe Lafferty - a nice Irish guy (laughing.) Joe wrote all the different songs that I danced to. When I first started out, I used to dance to "Midnight in Moscow," "Night Train," and the first song I danced to was ... what the hell was it called? ... oh, "Love is a Many Splendored Thing." (DL laughs here) and there was another one ... "Slaughter on Tenth Avenue."

September 3, 2009 9:14 AM
LaDivaCucina said...

OMGod, Sugar Boxx looks FABULOUS! Tura, you are still one sexy tough-ass mama! Good luck with the premiere! (Makes me miss living in L.A.!)

A. It's gonna be fun! Thank you!

Read more Tura Q&A at my blog, Lethal Dose.

check out more of phewww's great stripper photos.

Spade Cooley

Old ground for me as well. Beat his wife to death. This one's a twofer: I'm also posting it here

Shame on You....

This one's from a full length Stooges (the right kind - with Curly!) Rockin' in the Rockies


From one of my posts elsewhere......

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dean Martin & Goldie Hawn Crack Me Up

I absolutely love this clip of Dean Martin and Goldie Hawn. These two are so hilarious. They have been laughing so hard.

Drew on the 'thon!

The mind boggles! Drew Friedman will be ON the Telethon this year - which I can't even imagine without Ed. No, he won't be co-hosting with Jerry (we wish) but still. Read the rest here.

Image courtesy Fantagraphics/Drew Friedman.

Who ARE You?

Guess who's staying with me this weekend?

That's right! The only and only Miss Tura Satana. I thought it would be fun to do a little "Ask Tura" feature. Post 'em here in the comments section - Friday is the deadline - and we will answer them over the weekend. She in town promoting her new film, "SugarBoxx," in which she costars with Kitten Natividad and Jack Hill! Here's the trailer:

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

you're overdressed!

Seeing this photo online today freaked me out... I've seen this movies a dozen times yet I never seem to remember him in this outfit! I had to share. :)

Is he the male barbarella or what?