Thursday, July 31, 2008

Yecch ! Or Perhaps Existential Malaise

I think that's how you're supposed to feel.....

Thios trailer sums up the movie's feel pretty well. My favorite scene is where the poor Andrea Feldman (as Jessica Todd) has Joey get her off with his shod foot.

Favorite quote: "Hey! Don't get that shit on my pants!"

(Academy in Peril era) John Cale soundtrack.

Ad Nauseum

The new T.V. ad for J. C Penney is a somewhat faithful recreation of The Breakfast Club, which begs the question,"Why?" The target demographic, high school kids, would have been -10 years old when this movie came out in theaters. Maybe it's an ad directed at the parents, because we all know teenagers will wear whatever their parents think is cool. And if it is directed at the parents, are they supposed to forget that it's a movie about social misfits that are trapped in detention? Is that what they want for their kids? Where's Principal Vernon? I'm so confused.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Papa Lazarou

I would have posted a clip from the movie adaptation of the show but I thought it was pretty poor - which is often the case. If any of you haven't seen it yet, this clip is from a [fairly] recent classic television series from over here called 'The League of Gentlemen' featuring one of my favourite and scariest characters - Papa Lazarou, proprietor of The Pandemonium Carnival (a travelling freak show). Those of you with a penchant for Hammer Horror, The Wicker Man, freaks and British comedy should tune in when you get a chance.

Bruce Lee vs. Gay Power

They've all got it comin'...

"Top 10" Classic Spanking Scenes of the Eighties

For more on this delicate art, swing by my place for a little One-Oh-One (or two)!

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Pink Angels

Who doesn't love a movie about gay bikers? Why doesn't Bravo TV air this American classic?

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Scariest Dummy of them All

I have two friends that have interviewed him. I can't even get into the details, although secondhand. Wait for "Weird Hollywood" to come out (I have a chapter in it!) for all of the dish.

In the meantime, I bring you Chip, the Black Boy, star of Hollywood Public Access.

If you are looking for Chip the Black Boy, look no further.

Also, if you are looking for David Nkrumah Liebe Unger Hart, David Liebe Unger Hart, David Liebe Hart, David Unger Hart, or just plain David Hart, you have come to the right place.

If you need his services, David is a church musician, sign painter, artist, puppeteer and actor.

He is also looking to meet young, attractive, single women. If interested and you meet these qualifications, please call him at 213-381-0791 (serious calls only).

If he is not there, leave a brief message and what you'd like to say with your return phone number and the best time he can call you. Say it slowly and clearly and repeat it twice, and he will return your phone call as soon as he comes in.

Chip the Black Boy is the star of David Hart's television show, "The Junior Christian Bible Story Puppet Show."

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Dummy: Causin' My Childhood Shiverin' Shit Fit

Lex10 here from GlyphJockey.

Let's talk about something relating to Arthur's earlier post about ventriloquist dummies- a recurring dream that occurred during my early childhood, the progenitor of which was the movie Dead of Night seen on television. What the fuck was my family thinking?!?! I was wee !!

It scarred me because prior to seeing it, it loved ventriloquist dummies, because it was a toy that came to life. But after Dead of Night, I knew it could all go wrong.....seriously, biting you wrong.

Well, here goes, here's the dream: I'm in my living room, playing with probably some Marx brand toys, when Mortimer Snerd enters the room. (Pretty sure that Mortimer was based on John Finnegan, the son of my Mother's friend, who was, in retrospect, a half-wit, and spent about 95% of the time I was sequestered with him beating on me, based on meaningless unconnected premises.)

Snerd- that fucker....

He approaches me in an attempt to bite me, in my mind, to death. I try to run but can't - it's all slow motion. Molasses. Anaerobic. Occasionally, during recurrences, I make it to my parent's room, but they do not wake up - it's like they're drugged and as a result I'm pretty much fucked - let Mortimer's biting commence. Once he's in bite proximity, everything swirls into a negative ecstasy of terror approximating the opposite of nirvana, and I wake up in a little tiny kid cold sweat, chest pumping, anxiety populating every breath of the air I gasped.

So, uh, here's the segment from the film in it's entirety. I used Google Video, because YouTube's weak ass policy states 10 minutes or less, and this runs about 23, so I'd've had to bust it into 3-


Lastly, glad to be here......

La Fantastique Edy

Set of scans from Cine Revue found at The Müller-Fokker Pulpbot Effect.

Movies For Dummies

'The Unholy Three'

'The Great Gabbo'


I haven't got round to watching 'Black Devil Doll from Hell' yet, and I'm not sure if I ever will, so I'll leave it to IMDB to fill you in -

"The only reason to see this is for the unintentionally hilarious rape scene wherein a pious sister of the church is tied down to her bed and given a serious rodgering by an evil, horny ventriloquist's dummy with dreadlocks. The scene where he "orally pleasures" her will forever be burned into my memory, not only because if was silly beyond all human comprehension, but because his tongue looks like a popsicle stick. And, yes, we do get to see his, er...wood. Rent it, and fast forward to this scene. After seeing it, immediately remove the tape from your VCR and use it as a skeet shooting pigeon."

And this led me back to one of my favourite album covers...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Missing Link

In my heart of hearts, I always knew that there was a link between Ed Wood and John Waters, my two favorite directors and now I have proof! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Henry Bederski , the only person to act for both directors! Sadly, his IMDB page is all the info I could find on the man, so I'm going to tack on this scene from FEMALE TROUBLE to make the blog look bigger. Enjoy!

"Tony does what he wants, when he wants"

Tony laying it on the line in 'Sins of the Daughter'.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Orgy of the Dead

I know folks have covered it before (well, I know Percy Trout has and I was compelled to post the Cat Dance clip myself a while back), but I decided to enhance my day by putting together a few found screen grabs, the book, the soundtrack and the Cat Dance clip here for everyone else to enjoy once more.
If you click the Soundtrack cover below a download link will open in a new browser window.

While waiting for the download you can listen to -
I Am Criswell
A Pussycat Is Born To Be Whipped

Mavis Martini is currently preparing a lecture on Ed Wood's literary classic for the next book club meeting...

These screen grabs were found over at Poletti's fickr photostream (his collection is impressive).

Those whose lives have been directly influenced by Criswell already knew this was going to happen.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Female Bunch

Starring Russ 'rotten bastard' Tamblyn (did he mention this one Donna?) and Lon Chaney Jr!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Julie Newmar's Gold Dance

Predictably, I voted for Julie Newmar as Cat Woman. I wouldn't consider it a decision because it was instinct over reason.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Mantan Moreland

I am a big fan of the grossly underrated Mantan Moreland. Sure, it's easy to point at the obvious racist sterotypes - but get past that, and marvel at his incredible comic timing, physicality, and how he walks away with every scene he's in. He made the best of what he had ... and one of these days I'm gonna get my hands on that "party record" he made in the 60s. Marky and I pay regular visits to Mantan's grave.

Here's some screengrabs from Cabin in the Sky, where he plays Lucifer Jr's "First Idea Man" (with the forgotten Willie Best as the Second Idea Man.)

I love the cel phone pics - they're much more surreal.

The Doll Squad

They may not be Moon Dolls or come from the Valley or Beyond, but these super violent Dolls know how to assault the senses (and anyone who stands in their way), and look good doing it. You even get a few glimpses of Donna's pal.

PS from DL: DREAMS DO COME TRUE! It's playing here next week!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Taking Off In The Movies

These guys from 'Reefer Madness' were just greedy and in too much of a hurry to have a good time.

But the cats from 'Alice in Acidland' knew that (with a little effort and planning) drugs could positively enhance your personal and social life -

Eventually, even the squares decided to get a piece of the action -

"How to smoke a joint" from 'Taking Off'.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Skidoo screengrabs

Jackie takes LSD
Jackie (Tony Banks) trips in jail

Groucho as God
Groucho as mob boss "God"

Carol Channing as Flo
Carol Channing as Flo ("I don't care how many guys you've slept with!")

Cesar Romero as Hechy
Cesar Romero (and Peter Lawford's floating head)

Mickey Rooney as Blue Chips
Mickey Rooney as "Blue Chips"*

Peter Lawford the prosecutor
Wow - Lawford is a floating berating head in TWO bad sixties films!

Jackie's coming down
Jackie's coming down

Friday, July 11, 2008

"I've looked at Margaret from both sides now"

From Arriva Dorellik (AKA How to Kill 400 Duponts).

From Five Golden Dragons.

If I had to choose sides, I'd go for the tush tapping one that digs the Number 5.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


You must, must, MUST go to FindaDeath and read the Schlitzie info!

I love Schlitzie. One of my favorite scenes in Freaks is when the woman has them on a picnic and the "normal" people are horrified. I could always see myself as that woman, rather than a suburban soccer mom!

Mimsy Farmer's LSD Dance

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Carrie Nations and Dolly Read

As a newcomer to Celluloid Slammer, I thought I'd better get the Carrie Nations/Dolly Read thing off my chest now and, at the same time, share a little of my enthusiasm with the rest of you folks (I already know Donna has a place in her heart for Dolly).
Besides The Carrie Nations being my all time favourite band and Dolly Read my all time favourite pin up, Doll and 'Miss Arthur's World', there's not much to say that would make interesting reading - it's always more satisfying to experience something than read about it.
So here are a few clips of The Carrie Nations in action instead.

If you wish to continue looking at Dolly take a look over here (not safe for squares).

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Wicked, Wicked (That's The Ticket) Wicked, Wicked (That's The Ticket)

I think the prospect of seeing the 'Wicked, Wicked' song performed in it's entirety is more enticing than duovision.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Killer Kane

I don't advocate violence as a rule, but this scene from 'The Ninth Configuration' is one of the many exceptions. As a child I had a phobia of Biker gangs and this bunch were particularly terrifying to me. When Killer Kane finally decided to show them who they were messing with, I found the results electrifying and sensational.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Bad Mothers!

A few treats from movies with a grotesque dominant mother theme.

The Baby, featuring Ruth Roman in fine form. I'd like to see how Supernanny would handle this situation.

Bad Boy Bubby - for those who haven't had the pleasure, watch this movie by Rolf De Heer when you get a chance. Bubby is a guy who was locked up by his mother for thirty something years and has to fit in to 'our world' (well, Australia in this case) after his escape.

This scene features Bubby's accidental musical debut and is one of the more pleasant moments of the film - mainly because you get the feeling that he's beginning to break away from his past.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Queen Kong

Featuring Robin Askwith, Saucy British Cinema star of the Confessions... series and 'Carry On Girls'. The British, despite being under the delusion that they hold the benchmark for irreverent comedy and intelligent drama, have occasionally proved that they are exceedingly good at being really bad. Which is nothing to be ashamed of.
Father Christmas gave me the book many years ago and I still haven't got round to reading it yet - I may take it with me if I ever need a lengthy stint in hospital.
Thanks to Donna for inviting me here, and hello to the rest of you. I've already been introduced to Mavis today, which was a pleasure!

Good heavens!

I saw Dino DeLaurentiis at Target yesterday.
Doncha just love Bible movies? Can you imagine the amounts of water poor Jesus must've had to turn into wine for this cast o' drunks?

Legend has it that George C. and Ava were responsible for the ban on actors at the Madrid Ritz.