Devil Girl from Mars (1954)directed by David MacDonald

 

Nyah, a dominatrix looking alien from Mars is heading to Earth to capture some men to bring back to her home planet after " a devastating war of the sexes". Her ship is damaged and crashes to a location near the Scottish Moores where she tries to enlist  men at the local bar/inn. This, believe it or not is NOT a porn movie scenario... though maybe it should be. 

Patricia Laffan who plays the alien Nyah is the saving grace of this otherwise by the books low budget 50's sci-fi. The other actors are fine but their roles and dialogue betray the theatre origins of the project. I would be interested to see as a play if they camped it up a little more. Laffan is superior and condescending to the humans and is only concerned with her mission to get men to mars for breeding purposes. She is over the top but also give a lot with her knowing looks and calm demeanour. Her character is interesting in that she doesn't seem interested personally in mating with earth men. Earthling are like ants to her and  she does not fall into the trop of falling in love with one and changing her mission for him. She is on point the entire time. 

What is the point exactly, though? She crashed before getting London and her ship is repairing itself so she will be there in a few hours. She doesn't need to leave it or interact with the small group of people in the inn at all. If she had just waiting a couple hours and flown to London I don't her having any problems, looking as she does, getting any number of men to fly to Mars and be willing sex slave for a planet of dominant women. 

There are too many other characters I felt, most there only to fulfill plot points. The escaped killer is only there to be an acceptable sacrifice at the end, the worker is just there to be killed to show how cold Nyah is and the little boy is typically annoying and is there to be taken by the Martian to show so the reporter can be shown as a hero when he tried to exchange himself for the boy. The model looking for love in the Scottish Moores in winter is just a trope and she falls in love with the reporter in 15 minutes. Some of the character beats work but overall you don't really feel for any of them. 

The look of the movie and the invader do carry the film enough that it's fun enough to watch. I don't think I would rewatch it. I will watch a super cut of her throwing open the french doors in dramatic fashion the 150 or so times she does it in the film! 

Oh, those Kooky Kuchars!

I skipped yoga class today and watched Kuchar movies instead. At least my Michael felt the stretch! I never realized eyebrows could be the shutters on the windows to the soul until today!

Malkovich as a Kubrick Con

Based on a true(ish) story, John Malkovich portrays sad, yet swishy, con man Alan Conway, who attempted to pass himself off as the reclusive director in London during the late 1990's. Unfortunately, he bore no resemblance to Kubrick, nor did he bother to do much research into his life. Brian Cook, Kubrick's assistant director, adds a few subtle (and some not so) touches to the film Kubrick fans will recognize immediately. A fabulous supporting cast includes Honor Blackman, Richard E. Grant and Ken Russell in a mental hospital-as himself apparently!


If anyone upstages Malkovich, it's Jim Davidson as "Lee Pratt":

Wonder Woman 1967

This is William Dozier ("Batman")'s 1967 pilot 'presentation' for Wonder Woman - a far cry from the Lynda Carter version nine years later.



"How do you expect to get a husband, flying around all the time?"

More Reasons to Watch Trashy TV

Robert Forster on "Heroes"!

Bruce Lee vs. Gay Power

Teenage mother means nine months of trouble!

There's nothing I can add to this. It's perfect.

Put the glasses on!

In my opinion, one of the best fight scenes in cinema is from John Carpenter's THEY LIVE. It's not the flashiest, best choreographed fight ever filmed. It's just a good, solid five minutes of two guys beating the crap out of each other because one guy wants the other guy to put on a pair of sunglasses.

Trailer Park

It is rare that I get excited about a movie based on the trailer, but I can't wait for ZOMBIE STRIPPERS to be released. From the trailer, I can gather that it has two plot devices that I really enjoy in cinema:

1) Zombies

2) Strippers

I know that this movie will probably suck, but what a concept! You just know Ed Wood is smiling down from Heaven.

Two Great Tastes...

Often, I have wondered how I could show my love for pretentious arty directors and dirty heavy metal at the same time. Now I don't have to wonder anymore, because the fine folks at CineFile Video has found a way to combine my two great loves into one great T Shirt. Check out all their shirts here.

Shiny Apple! Fishy Apple!

Oh sweet Golan and Globus!!

Tonight I was watching Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America. It's an episode from October 2007 and Gordon is saving a Brighton UK restaurant from ruin. The place is owned by a former actor named Allan Love and it's called 'Love's Fish Restaurant'.

I look on imdb and I almost flipped out to see in Love's sparce 80s/90s film credits is listed "The Apple".

OMG! It's him! He's 27 years older and pudgy but that smile is unmistakable. Allan Love was not only one the leads, but he sang the title song! He played "Dandi"- one of the corrupting forces at Mr. Boogaloo's International Music (the "BIM") that leads an innocent singing duo from Moose Jaw, Canadian obscurity to fame, drugs, and sex parties...and over-the-top musical numbers.

The Apple is a 1980 film spectacle (set in the distant future of 1994!) that makes Xanadu look coherent.

Thanks Chef Ramsay for dishing up a great plate of nostalgia for me.

"The Scenery Diet " - by Pia Zadora

One of my faves!

The Lonely Lady is a 1983 film directed by Peter Sasdy and adapted to screen by Ellen Shepard from the novel written by Harold Robbins. Some consider it one of the worst films ever made mainly because of its clichéd storyline. Its plot and bad acting won it a Razzie.

Jerilee Randall (Pia Zadora) is an innocent schoolgirl living in the San Fernando Valley who dreams of becoming a famous writer. Shortly after winning a trophy for her creative writing, she meets the son of a famous screenwriter, Walter Thornton (Lloyd Bochner), at a party. She goes home with the son, along with some other friends. During a late evening pool party, Jerilee is sexually assaulted with a garden hose nozzle by one of the "friends" (Ray Liotta). Walter Thornton arrives after the assault has taken place and saves her from further attacks. A friendship develops between them, and they soon marry, despite the disapproval of Jerilee's mother (Bibi Besch).

The marriage begins to fall apart when she rewrites one of his scripts leading to his humiliation and erectile dysfunction. Divorce is inevitable when Walter scorns Jerilee during an argument and accuses her of enjoying her prior garden hose assault.

As the years pass, Jerilee has several bad affairs while trying to get her screenplay produced. She is coerced into a hot tub three-way with a producer and his aggressive wife. Jerilee is so traumatized by this experience that she showers while fully clothed (rubbing off the shame?). This scene leads to her nervous breakdown sequence where she sees the callous people of her past appear as faces on the keys of her typewriter which she tosses to the floor.

The film ends with Jerilee finally successful and winning a prestigious award (Oscar-ish) for her screenplay of a film called the "The Hold-outs". At the live awards telecast, she admits to her ex-husband Walter Thornton (in attendance) that she has never learned "the meaning of self-respect." Jerilee Randall then refuses to accept the award, and walks out of the auditorium with her newfound dignity.

trivia:

• Pia was fresh off her Golden Globe award win for her work in the incest drama "Butterfly" - a win which many Hollywood insiders contributed to as having been "bought" by her billionaire hubby (gee, ya think?)
  
• "music coordination" is credited to The Scotti Brothers (Tony Scotti began his career as an actor, portraying Tony Polar, in the 1967 cult camp classic "Valley of the Dolls".)
• When touring the talk show circuit to promote this film, Pia Zadora repeatedly portrayed it as "a cross between Rocky (1976) and Emmanuelle (1974)".