Le Vourdalak (2023) directed by Adrien Beau

 

It's hard to talk about this film without spoilers, it's has some interesting elements better experienced as a surprise. Spoiler free, this is a film about a nobleman finding shelter after being robbed on the road and getting caught up in a family's tragic story of death and horror. It is based on Aleksey Konstantinovich Tolstoy's 1839 novella The Family of the Vourdalak. I had already read it before seeing this so I had an idea what was going to happen. It's mostly well acted, nicely filmed, slow and hypnotic with some scares and a villain that works when it really shouldn't. 

Spoilers

A vourdalak is basically a vampire and this movie is based on one of the oldest printed vampire stories. it follows much of the lore of the time it was written so its has some nice touches, like vampires eating their shrouds that add a creepier than normal feel to it. The grandfather leaves to fight in the war but warns the family that if he isn't back in 6 days, he has died and if he is seen again to reject him as he will have become a vourdalak. He returns just after the deadline and his son takes his emaciated body into the house despite the protestations of the family. 

The grandfather is a vampire like you haven't really seen in film. Sure he is a living corpse but he is also played by a life sized puppet. This should be comical but it isn't.. at all. It is done well but doesn't really hide that it's a puppet. It has charisma and does manage to scare the crap out of you a couple times. it does what traditional vampires did and begins to transform the rest of the family into undead creatures. 

The nobleman is seen as a dandy, at first. Over time he grows and we see more than a prissy rich guy but someone willing to combat the undead for the family that took him in. He is in love with the daughter but that takes a back seat when the grandfather goes after the young grandson. The film ends with a couple of surprises and strays from the original story but overall it is a good adaption. 

The father is played really well and the rest of the cast does too. The weakest link is the daughter/love interest. She is a too odd to get a sympathetic handle on. Vassili Schneider as the brother is another departure from the novella. He is sexually ambiguous in some ways, dressing like a woman at times but also strong when he needs to be. His family is accepting of him as he is and this normally admirable trait is definitely misplaced when the father accepts the grandfather back into the family. Being a vampire is a little beyond acceptance, in my opinion of course. 

The pace is slow but that helps the viewer accept what is happening and while there is some gore it's restrained. The filming is mostly subtle and natural. There is a night/day issue that crops up quite a bit and it's hard to get an idea if hours or days have passed. it's not a deal breaker as the story and actors really draw you in. 

THE LOOK - Here's Lucy style

In her final successful sitcom until her CBS-imposed retirement in 1974, sixty-something Lucille Ball played Lucy Carter and pimped her real-life teen kids to audiences (Desi Jr was a hot box- but he eventually left the series and his mom's on set screaching). By then, Lucy heavily relied on cue cards and a parade of guest stars to cover the lack of physical comedy. Below you will find a swingin' 60s Liz Taylor; a caftanned Shelley Winters; Lawrence Welk; Wally Cox; fearless Flip Wilson; and sitcom guest 'must have' Eva Gabor who arrives wearing her sunglasses at night. Vivian Vance agreed to come on once a year but was more content to stay in Connecticut with her (gay) hubby/companion. Our Donna Lethal joked that the credit-sequence top-hatted Lucy marionnete was (for her) the most terrifying sight on television.

Lili Puppets

Hi Lili Hi Lili Hi Lo

Leslie Caron was such a charmer in this small film that did BIG business for MGM. Leslie Caron also shows her leggy sexy side in a great fantasy scene dance-off with Zsa Zsa Gabor.

But back to the puppets -- this integral scene has orphan Lili jobless and broken hearted and contemplating ending it all. (How does one throw themselves from atop a matte painting of a carnival high ladder?).

Just then, a clever puppeteer who has a crush on sweet Lili gets her to rejoin life and participate in a dialogue with his puppets - and bam! a new star act is born.



This sequence also made little John Waters take notice in Baltimore - and he soon made a tidy sum giving puppet shows to the neighborhood kids. It was John's first creative outlet - well, after playing "car crash" with his toy cars - and before his Grandmother gave him a movie camera as a gift.

Stick around for the second clip - and see the puppets - alive & well after the 1970 MGM auction (they went for $ 15 a piece!!).

SATAN HAS BEEN PARALYZED

The Devil is a blabbermouth,
distorting every fact;
but the truth is he's a loser
since Jesus broke his back...


Make way fer Captain Hook and his Christian Pirate Crew,
ya scalawags!


Gather close, ya landlubbers, and learn how to be a good little pirate on the High Seas of Faith ...

Ol' Slewfoot calls the good Cap'n a FATSO in front of the young'ns!
Let's listen in ...

Captain Hook. The former "bad seed" biker who lost a hand and a leg in a traffic accident, gave his life to the Lord, and decided the best way to spread the Gospel was to assume the guise of a bandit and encourage inflicting bodily harm on the Enemy. The man who gave us the "Christain Pirate Rap." The man who performs on-camera autopsies on "sinners" for the educational benefit of today's wayward youth ("What's this? A beer can?! Oh, gross!!"). The man for whom Jesus was made to walk the plank.
He walked the plank for you, too. And for me.
Avast, and a-men.

The Scariest Dummy of them All

I have two friends that have interviewed him. I can't even get into the details, although secondhand. Wait for "Weird Hollywood" to come out (I have a chapter in it!) for all of the dish.

In the meantime, I bring you Chip, the Black Boy, star of Hollywood Public Access.

If you are looking for Chip the Black Boy, look no further.

Also, if you are looking for David Nkrumah Liebe Unger Hart, David Liebe Unger Hart, David Liebe Hart, David Unger Hart, or just plain David Hart, you have come to the right place.

If you need his services, David is a church musician, sign painter, artist, puppeteer and actor.

He is also looking to meet young, attractive, single women. If interested and you meet these qualifications, please call him at 213-381-0791 (serious calls only).

If he is not there, leave a brief message and what you'd like to say with your return phone number and the best time he can call you. Say it slowly and clearly and repeat it twice, and he will return your phone call as soon as he comes in.

Chip the Black Boy is the star of David Hart's television show, "The Junior Christian Bible Story Puppet Show."