Today's Bible Lesson with Val Kilmer

Here is an edited version of what I managed to record from television late last Friday night of Kilmer speaking some bizarre bullshit on behalf of Christian Science Publications, 2009. He spent an hour alternately reading from The Holy Bible and Science & Health.
His mind has been thrown in the slammer!!! HALP!
And though I tried to resist, I had to throw in a funny bone or three.

I half expected him to break in to "How silly can you get?" from TOP SECRET at any moment.

The Scariest Dummy of them All

I have two friends that have interviewed him. I can't even get into the details, although secondhand. Wait for "Weird Hollywood" to come out (I have a chapter in it!) for all of the dish.

In the meantime, I bring you Chip, the Black Boy, star of Hollywood Public Access.

If you are looking for Chip the Black Boy, look no further.

Also, if you are looking for David Nkrumah Liebe Unger Hart, David Liebe Unger Hart, David Liebe Hart, David Unger Hart, or just plain David Hart, you have come to the right place.

If you need his services, David is a church musician, sign painter, artist, puppeteer and actor.

He is also looking to meet young, attractive, single women. If interested and you meet these qualifications, please call him at 213-381-0791 (serious calls only).

If he is not there, leave a brief message and what you'd like to say with your return phone number and the best time he can call you. Say it slowly and clearly and repeat it twice, and he will return your phone call as soon as he comes in.

Chip the Black Boy is the star of David Hart's television show, "The Junior Christian Bible Story Puppet Show."