Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Good bye Cheetah

Yes the original Cheetah has died from complications after kidney failure. Yes... the original.. he was 80 years old. Old for most monkeys including humans. (cough, cough - DL)

Correction: please read our resident obit queen Eve Golden on Cheetah here at the NYT.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

One More Harry Morgan RIP

Zontar of Venus had this great image from his series Pete and Gladys. But this post, while paying homage to he who embodied Bill Gannon, is actually about the rich, eyeball-stinging panoply of film imagery at the Zontar site. I wanna say....holy shit. Ok I cussed, now go.

Christmas Punch

Love these animated shorts from The Punchy Players (Ann Miller as cashier kills me)  

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Reet, Petite and Gone

It's a pity that the dialogue scenes are so damaged, but signal-to-noise during the musical numbers is more that adequate to enjoy these copious one-after-the-other Louis Jordan numbers. Download this gem HERE (Divx, no less!)

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Tallulah Teachin'

The 100% always delightful Mary Birdsong plays us a clip for a record that has a one-sided script for aspiring actors. go there and experience it. Also look at her other shizzle while you're there, my blizzle rizzles.

Ken Russell 1927- 2011

One of cinemas most controversial directors has now passed on. Part of a gang of directors that influenced me greatly in my youth (others are Nicholas Roeg, and Herzog) his death for me symbolizes the slow end to the people whose films thrill me 10, 20, 30 even 40 years after they were made. We just rarely see the types of films where the film makers personal obsessions and tastes are not crushed b the system that makes films now. Someone like Russell, with his catholic sex fetishes just wouldn’t make it in today’s world.

This is not to say I love everything the man did. I am not a fan of “Gothic”, “Tommy” (I know, sue me) or even “Lair of the White Worm”. I do watch “Salome’s Last Dance” at least once a year and “The Devils”, “The rainbow” and “Crimes of Passion” have a special place in my DVD collection. I am still angry that his film “Whore” couldn’t even put it’s title on the cover of the box.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Last of the Munchkins (almost)

Karl Slover, one of the last of 124 Munchkins from the 1939 classic The Wizard of Oz, has passed away at 93. At four-foot-five, Slover was one of the smallest male Munchkins, best known for playing the lead trumpeter in the Munchkins' band. He was also among the seven little people at the 2007 Hollywood Walk of Fame dedication to their contingent, and he continued to appear at events as recently as last week, according to friends. "It wasn't until the Munchkins started making their appearances in 1989 that they all came to realize how potent the film had become and remained," prolific Oz author John Fricke said. "He was wonderfully articulate about his memories, he had anecdotes to share." [AP via HuffPo]

Sunday, November 13, 2011


So much for the "baby" fetish. There was a man dressed as a giant sissy baby on mainstream television in the 1950s and everyone acted as it were the most normal thing in the world. How frightening is Stinky?!

Lumberton's hottest disco?

We've been soaking in "Blue Velvet" nostalgia down here in Wilmywood/"Lumberton" and suddenly everybody-and not just the hipsters-is toasting their Pabst Blue Ribbons to their fucks:

Patrick Swayze was way ahead (or behind) Frank Booth in getting to Pussy Heaven, Lumberton's only disco.

Oh, and here's a juicy tidbit to go with your PBR. Peter was in town and shared his fantastic film with us and told some great stories:

It's a strange world, isn't it?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What a Hack !!

Shelley Hack became famous for her 70s Revlon CHARLIE perfume commercials in which she sauntered through glamorous hotel lobbies and into limos to a catchy jingle - which made Charlie the #1 scent in the world with $1 billion in sales for 1977. It sold 70s glamour and freedom in a bottle.

Here's a clip of her with The Velvet Fog crooning the jingle.

Hack grew up in Greenwich Connecticut - daughter of a Wall Street financial analyst father and ex-stewardess/model mother. The eldest of 6 children, Hack graduated from Smith College with a degree in history.

People Mag offered this tidbit:
She moved into a third-floor walk-up in Greenwich Village, signed full-time with the Eileen Ford model agency and took acting lessons at the Herbert Berghof Studio. "My father encouraged me to invest my money," Shelley remembers. "As far as he was concerned, I was in business—the business of selling my face." She sank her earnings into a 244-acre farm in New York's Catskills. "It's dairy country, not chic," she says. "It's a nice contrast to put on my barn clothes and go out and slosh.

This high profile, high paying modeling gig led to one lackluster season replacing Kate Jackson on the withering Charlie's Angels (her debut episode featured the Angels going on the Love Boat cruise ship to solve a crime. Bring a Book. Snoozefest.)

Producers thought she was a perfect choice to play the sophisticated "classy" angel from Boston named Miss Tiffany Welles.

"Maybe the show will make me a star overnight, maybe it won't."

Hack may have hated the weak writing -or- the network brass critiques because by season's end she was emoting with all the dull or defiantly aloof delivery of a bored 8th and final season Elizabeth Montgomery on Bewitched. Her contract option was not picked up by ABC and she left the Angels for good.

In 1982, Hack was perfectly cast as the fabulously bright and refined network TV assistant Cathy Long in The King of Comedy. She is pitch perfect in her lobby scenes with Rupert Pupkin. As the script details, she is the epitome of "strained politeness".

     Are you speaking for Jerry?

                 CATHY LONG
     Let's put it this way, Mr. Pupkin.
     Mr. Langford has complete faith in
     our judgment.

     I'm sorry to have to say this, Miss
     Long, and I certainly don't want you
     to take it personally, but I have to
     tell you that I don't ... I don't
     have faith in your judgment.

                 CATHY LONG
     Well, I'm sorry you feel that way,
     Mr. Pupkin. But I'm afraid there's
     nothing that can be done about that.

     No ... No ... I'm afraid I'll have
     to disagree with you again.

                 CATHY LONG
           (with strained politeness)
     That's your privilege, Mr. Pupkin.
     Now, if you'll excuse me, please, I
     have some things to do. I'm sorry
     the news isn't better.

CATHY LONG turns to go.

     Miss Long?

CATHY LONG turns back.

     When are you expecting Jerry in?

                 CATHY LONG
     He won't be in until very late this

     That's fine. Thank you.

Starting in 2000 and for the next decade, Hack became founder and president of Shelley Hack Media Consultancy (SHMC), a company primarily involved in media consultancy for pre- and post-conflict countries. Her company worked on projects to transition Bosnian State television to a public broadcaster, as well as producing Bosnian TV political debates and providing media training for Bosnian politicians.

In the last few years, Hack has been popping into the Autograph Convention circuit and gladly signing autographs and posing with fans - for  a small fee.

Shelley Hack is married to TV director Harry Winer and they have a 21-year-old daughter.
You want to see a photo of their PRIDE and JOY ?   (thanks Rupert)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Donna and I were discussing how it always annoyed us that every KONG film conveniently skipped over showing viewers the logistical nightmare of moving a sedated 40-foot ape into the hull of a ship and setting him up in a Broadway theater.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Bates Motel - Ex-quisite Interpretation

My email this morning told me that Gay Carrington had become a subscriber to my YouTube Channel and as my sweet palsy-walsy Ange had previously, in a private email told me, I am in fact, an attention whore, so I figured I'd see what Gay had to offer. Haunting. Direct. Amusing. Stylish. and f*cking WEIRD.

I'd like to offer Gay's rendition of this paraphrased reinterpretation of some footage from Psycho it seemed perfect for Hallowe'en on myriad levels.
Please as usual, no comments.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

"When I diet, I diet. And when I orgasm, I orgasm." - Liz Taylor

Elizabeth Taylor is in The Driver's Seat
Mentally disturbed spinster Lise experiences a series of bizarre encounters in Rome as she searches for someone to murder her.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

An Invitation to YOU

So.... I had this recent email exchange:
"Lex10 to fakecriterions

show details 12:59 PM (3 hours ago)

So, um, just out of curiosity is it that:
you get thousands of submissions,
or is it that you did not find my design good-looking enough,
or is it because you found the humor in bad taste?
(Plot Summary for Manhattan: Isaac, 42, has divorced Jill. She is now living with another woman, Connie, and is writing a book in which she will reveal some very private points of their relationship. Isaac has a love affair with Tracy, 17, when he meets Mary, the mistress of his best friend Yale. Yale is already married to Emily.)
I'm a big boy and can take it on the first two.....

Thanks, Lex10

P.S. Chuck Palahniuk found my Fight Club good enough to post,

Fake Criterions to me

show details 1:14 PM (3 hours ago)


I found it quite funny. the one-word response belying acerbic disdain n'all. And so, since my work isn't good enough, and they're too busy, and I showed bad taste, I have Founded UNCENSORED FAKE CRITERIONS the original admittedly a brilliant concept and I invite you to SUBMIT. You could literally take a dump on a sheet of paper and entitle it "C.C. & Company" and it will go up. The funny thing is, I will probably censor it for porn or exploitation, so, uh, it's uh, funny, no? 'Cause it's till censored. 

Monday, September 5, 2011

A Bottom Lip Like A Living Room Sofa

From RETROZONEclick it, Pickett

Hooray for Holly(Ed)Wood

If you think that Ed Wood's era of low budget filmmaking and laughable rubber monsters died by the mid-60s, think again.

One stoned-out Sunday, I decided to watch the indie sci-fi film SKY LINE on Netflix because mainly it had sexy hipster Eric Balfour battling aliens.

The film cost up to $10 mil to make (mainly due to the CGI digital effects) which returned that investment sixfold with a world-wide take of $67 million.

Eric Balfour told interviewers how he became involved with the independently financed film directed by special-effects supervisors turned directors."I was invited to come down to the Hydraulx office. And the guys… We did a small reading and we went over a couple of scenes. Then they showed me the trailer that they had cut for the movie with their friends. They basically said, "So you want in?" After seeing the trailer I was like, "This looks amazing. I'm totally in."

Most of the action was shot in the high-rise condo where director/producer Greg Strause lives for $500,000. The visual effects in Post jacked the budget up to $10 million. The Brothers Strause say that they have a sequel in mind. They will do it with their own money if they have to and try to find a distributor after that. Somewhere Ed Wood is smiling.

In the true Ed Wood tradition, SKY LINE offer actors in a one-set, claustrophic setting (ie: a Hi-RISE in LA's Marina) due to budget limitations - as well as featuring crow-barred "emotional" moments for the cast to chew on - which is laugh inducing because they are on the verge of extinction but cannot get past their petty hangups. One actor has a rather noticeable and distracting speech impediment. While playing macho - he has to utter lines with way too many R's for him to handle. Oh, and the aliens are  brain-gulping flappy vagina monsters.

Best of all, Eric Balfour has a beat down scene with an alien monster on the rooftop that brings a flashback to Ed Wood's BRIDE of the MONSTER ("Just roll around with the octopus.").The CGI effects are decent - but unfortunately CGI (or in Ed Wood's case : stock footage) cannot do everything a director needs to tell a story, and a group of actors must always fill in the gaps. As we all know, this is where the real low-budget comedy comes in. Some things never change.

Don't Look Up (at the screen!)

Monday, August 22, 2011

Sybil Danning

Just because.

Could she fit more references to every sci fi project every done to date in this opening?

btw: thanks to Thomas Blue for sending this my way!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Baby Jane, Dirty Dozen, and Lady Wrestlers

In 1980, after a dreaded actor's strike, Robert Aldrich made his final film: ALL THE MARBLES starring Peter Falk as a manager of two female wrestlers played by Broadway dancer vet Vicki Frederick and newcomer Laurene Landon.

The R-rated rags-to-riches tale of Peter Falk's "California Dolls" was a blast for me to find as a teen. It all ends with a big ROCKY-esque showdown in the ring which gets viewers all riled up. A few years later, Matt Cimber created the G.L.O.W. (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) for TV syndication gold.

The DVD is available as a special order archive collection. Reviews say: Vicki Frederick lends a real emotional gravity to her struggles with her chosen career and Laurene Landon has a girlish charm that is positively ingratiating. However, All The Marbles really belongs to Peter Falk, whose grizzled charisma is a natural fit for the role of the manager.

Here is a brilliant interview with the blonde star of the film- Laurene Landon- you will love it. She was 19 and called director Aldrich "Mr Altman" on her first day on the set. He laughed it off - thinking she was being a jokester. Nope- she was just 19 and being 'blonde'.

Her brunette co-star Vicki Frederick was 10 years older and more showbiz savvy. Frederick had just left Broadway to try her hand in Hollywood. She found roles as dancing/voluptuous gals on Laverne & Shirley, Mork & Mindy- and would later be cast as Sheila in the 1985 feature film version of A CHORUS LINE - however, back in 1980, All the Marbles promised to be her biggest feature film role and she wanted that part! The actresses trained for weeks with local LA-area Mexican wrestlers and were more than ready to take it to the mat when cameras started rolling.

With the passing of the great Peter Falk recently, I remembered all the entertaining moments he gave to filmdom - and the night I went alone to the cinema and got caught up in ALL THE MARBLES.

Jayne Mansfield: That Makes It


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Blithe Spirit

Really, this scene is the template for so many of those charlatans out there today. Brilliant.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Googie Withers

Big fan. If only for "Dead of Night"'s terrifying mirror sequence-but Googie was more than that.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

A Life in Reruns

Sherwood Schwartz has died in his sleep at age 94. His 4 children were nearby - along with his wife of 69 years, Mildred.

Schwartz started in radio working with Bob Hope, Ozzie & Harriet and moved to televsion with Red Skelton.

His own creations Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch have a lasting power that are due partially to great casting decisions, fun cartoony writing, and kicky theme songs (written by Schwartz) that hooked you within seconds and didn't let you go. His sitcom worlds (tropic island, suburbia) were cleverly made more fun for viewers with a steady stream of dopplegangers, guest stars, and dream sequences. Returning to watch these shows is like visiting a favorite amusement park, or eating a favorite candy from our youth.

His "Gilligan's Island" (which aired for 3 years) became a 4-decade franchise of
2 cartoons, 3 TV-reunion films, a summer stock stage musical, a reality show, and a planned feature film.

His "Brady Bunch" (which aired for 5 years) became a 4-decade franchise of
1 cartoon, a 70s Variety Show, a spin-off sitcom The Brady Brides, and a short-lived dramedy The Bradys (we dubbed: Bradysomething). He hit gold again when he visited a storefront Chicago theater in 1991 and saw that audiences loved sharing in the memories of the original sitcom by attending a show called: Real Live Brady Bunch. He didn't sue the non-profit tiny theater - he simply ran with that satire idea and produced 2 feature film parodies and a TV-film where the parody bunch moved to the White House.

The actors in his 60s shows were kept in the limelight by his reruns, reunions,
and were given an immortality that many in showbiz seldom enjoy. Some were embittered by lack of residual money and the type casting. Schwartz knew it was a double-edged sword. He said: "That's the damaging thing about being terrific in what you do as an actor, everybody wants you to be the same person.”

Being the true Producer he was - he had to make his own living, and move on to the next project. He would bring back these "same persons" again and again as long as the public wanted to embrace them.

If anybody could re-invent his properties (or squeeze every last penny from them) it was Mr. Schwartz. He was kind and personable to fans, and loved his work. We loved it back.

Sleep well, Sherwood Schwartz.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Perfect Host

David Hyde-Pierce knocking it outta the park in this work directed by nobody and starring nobodies - all nailing it. Plus - hey! Helen Reddy! This was a great companion piece to Girly (posted below) and would also be a good double feature with Christopher Nolan's Following.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Real Estate divinity

This charming 3 bedroom, 1 bath $149,900 priced home in Baltimore seems like a perfect place to raise a family, doesn't it?

However, the RedFin real estate site's photos don't really give you the full history of this "historical" home at 3900 Greenmount Avenue.

Lucky for us filthy people, the TRASHY TRAVELS facebook page does - even showing us the unfinished basement just the way Channing left it - as well as a banister once licked by Divine. This indeed was once the Pink Flamingos movie home of filthy perverts Connie & Raymond Marble (while the real residence of John Waters and Mink Stole). Talk about curb appeal.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

"The plot was average; you had to think a lot."

1970's teen show, "Groove-in" reviews Kubricks's "2001: A Space Odyssey". Oh, and there's also a fashion bit...

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Tweet's Ladies of Pasadena

The legendary unfinished film by our hero Timothy Carey. Tweet Twig, the only male member of the all-ladies Pasadena knitting club and his mission to clothe all the naked animals in the world. Rumor has it that Carey turned down the role of Luca Brasi in The Godfather to focus on this masterpiece.

Friday, June 3, 2011

L'illusionniste (2010)

L'illusionniste (2010) 80 min  

Director Sylvain Chomet and the team that made «Triplets of Bellville» have made a new animated film that is truly amazing to see. The characters studies are wonderfully subtle and look and colours are amazing. Like «Belville» this Belgian film really is beyond language. Most of the dialog is unintelligible and while you might catch a french or english word here or there... it isn’t really important as the entire story is told visually. Only a note at the very end of the film is important in terms of story.. very important, though reading it on the note or in a subtitle wont take away from the experience.

The only flaw in this film is one clip that is a little too computer generated and it passes quickly. Like most hand drawn animations, physical items like cars or other solid objects are occasionally rendered with CGI but match really well with the detailed characters and painted back drops.

The story is a bitter sweet one, following the degrading career of a magician forced to go into smaller and smaller venues as the call for his sort of entertainment dwindles with the public tastes. A young girl at a Scottish pub where he is performing thinks he is really magic (this takes place before the second world war) and she decides to follow him on his travels. he reluctantly allows her and while he tries to tell her he really isn’t magic, he nevertheless tries to realize her dreams, even if it means making his life more difficult than it already is.

In many ways this is a film by animators for animators but it’s sweetness and ambiguous storyline should appeal to anyone.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Rides a Bike

I'm sure you must all know about it, but Rides a Bike is awesome. (Especially if you ride a bike.)