Friday, June 12, 2009
I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS, SEE? CAUSE HE'S A STINKING STOOL PIGEON, GET ME?
Hey hard-timers! Just a quick post to let you know that the Titanic of dreamboats, Ms. Lethal has graciously allowed me to join you here on Death Row. I expect lots of sloppy prison sex, some serious shower shanking, and maybe a few tasteful riots while I await my appeal. As the new fish around here I'm figuring I'll have to take on the toughest of you eggs so's to prove my mettle. So bring it you mugs..I ain't afraid of no two bit hoods like Knuckles Ignatowski or small potato gunzels like Lex10- I figure I gave Lexes 1 through 9 what they had coming so 10 will be easy pickings. As long as I can get outta this joint in one piece and bust a little slice of heaven goes by the name of Mavis outta the cellblock where they keep the frails, it'll all be swell. I ain't takin' a powder for nobody, see? So stay outta my skivvies and everything will be jake, understand? See ya on the yard, birds.
I made this one for you DL! Click to enlarge.
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a thousand "welcomes" chimpster
what a wonderful poster.
I spent a few moments at your home base blog and I told DL that you were soooo "one of us" it was scary.
Hope you enjoy it here and I hope you get a soft-skinned pretty cel-mate.
I'll see you in the shower, Testicles. Remember to refer to me as Butch Tuffington in there, and we'll get along just fine...
You have no idea how "one of us" you are ... PZ and I have a running "Here Comes Da Judge" joke from Pigmeat Markham on Laugh-In ... and I actually dated a Jess Franco alumni (I'll never tell!)
But wait, if I'm the "Titanic of Dreamboats," does that mean I'm a sinking ship?!
Thanks PZ, L10, and "Butch"- glad you liked the poster. And DL that is a hilarious kinda creepy coincidence! Must put on more aluminum foil to block out your mind rays! Oh man I am so dying to know who you dated...I have a mind and memory like a steel trap when it comes to obscure American and European character actors. Give me some hints-how many Franco films were they in? C'mon sister, spill it! And as for the Titanic comment...I meant to say the Hindenburg of Hotties...I mean the ENRON of Enchantresses...I mean...awww..skip it!
... it was a groovy pleasure, Testy. I'm having a Topless Battleship Tournament in my cell this weekend and you're the "Edwardian Tea Chest" of honour.
Talking about "one of us" and synchronicity, coincidences etc..see my comment on the "Crimes of Passion" post!!!
And thanks for the invite Ignatowski..just hope it's not like your bottomless Candyland tournament party where I was the Victorian Tea(bag) Cozy!
I just KNEW you two (Chimpy and Butch) would go ape for each other!
Whoever gets to me first in the big doll house gets me...unless you get each other first?? Well, I know how the Slammer can bring out the beast in you (J. Fred) Muggs!
You can't make me tell, no matter how often that evil matron threatens to hose me down, I won't!
We'll examine the film and see if you give anything away with your body language, Donna.
Kate Winslet got smoochy with me at a party about 15 years ago - I had to make a quick exit. She starts humming "God Save The Queen" in Sexpistolian when she gets excited. Champagne Anarchists are a real turn-off!
As long as there's no runnin' involved Mavis. I'm cream crackered out after a tournament(things got a bit Bonobo when Testy turned up).
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