Saturday, August 30, 2008


It's pointless to even fret about Warner brothers' stupidity. But why isn't this fully restored with dolby n'all? Feh.

The Devils.
Great book too. Huxley goes deep, baby.

Gramps, Why the Hand Cream and Tissues?

Musical interlude re showering from Meet the Baron starring Jack Pearl, Jimmy Durante (who I met when I was 11), Zazu Pitts and Ted Healy and his Three Stooges. None of them are in this scene, actually, as it is reservee' pour Gateau de Fromage.
Et quelle fromage!!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Le Roi du Comedie

I love Jerry Lewis and I'm not ashamed! You know what Labor Day weekend means ...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Takashi Miike's Sukiyaki Western DJANGO!

Django is one of my favorite spaghetti westerns and I can't wait to see what Takashi Miike has done with it. Slate has an early review, but I don't like to read them b/c of spoilers.

Franco Nero is so hot!


This item is a little different than my usual posts about strippers and zombies, but I think it's a piece of unknown film history that should be shared. A couple of years ago, Oscar nominated actor Terrence Howard was in Wilmington, NC shooting Idlewild and some friends of mine shot a music video for him. For whatever reason, this music video was never released and has never been seen by the public. Now, though the magic of the intertubes this music video can have it's world premeire on the Celluloid Slammer. I present to you DREAM by Terrence Howard.

Since that song is so pretty, and I have a reputation to uphold, I've decided to end this blog with Motley Crue's LIVE WIRE. Party on!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Blue Plate Special: Mr Joyboy!

Continuing on our Rod Steiger ham fe(a)st, here's my very favorite:

If you like the Loved One, check out the pressbook.

Lunch special: HAM!

I was trying to find a clip from "The Big Knife", that features a delicious ham performance by Rod Steiger as a sadistic studio boss, but found this little side platter instead!

Say, didn't Brando play a Major in "Reflections of a Golden Eye"? Now that would be a double-decker club HAM-wich!

Plus, there's John Philip "Pygar" Law, hot off of "Skidoo" and "Barbarella" YUMMY!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Did anyone know this?

In 2001, Sony commisioned David Lynch to create promos for its new gaming system, the PlayStation 2. I'm guessing Sony wanted an ad showing how awesome PlayStation 2 was going to be. What Lynch gave them was a maze, a disembodied arm, a mummy, and a talking duck. God bless David Lynch.

Monday, August 11, 2008

When Isaac Hayes was Truck Turner

I can't do obituaries, but he had a great voice. Whenever I think of the words 'make' and 'love' (together and in that order), I'll always be reminded of Isaac Hayes.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

R.I.P, Bernie Mac

What a drag. I was a Bernie fan.

Welcome to Movie Phobe

Inspired by my niece's arachnophobia and my own fear of giant bunnies (not rabbits, but people in bunny suits), we thought it might be nice to start a little phobia guide. You know, search for your phobia while movie-hunting and avoid any ugly surprises. Of course, disaster films cater directly to the common phobias, with claustrophobia topping the list. All of the Irwin Allen films have claustrophobia as the star, with smaller phobias in supporting roles (fear of fire, fear of drowning, fear of bees, etc.) With "Snakes on a Plane" you get two at once, but at least you're warned. It's the films that don't spring a phobia on you until you're already ensconced that are the most dangerous, therefore, this list doesn't include films that announce the phobia in the title.

Here's an early start:

Bunnies, Giant: Inland Empire
Buried Alive: Kill Bill, Superman: The Movie, The Vanishing, Blood Simple, Mad Detective
Cleithrophobia: Papillon, Bad Ronald
Crucifixion: Spartacus
Crustaceans: The Tingler, Multiple Maniacs
Cyclophobia: Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Drinking (Dipsophobia): Leaving Las Vegas
Heights: Vertigo, The Dark Knight, Darkman (with live action stunts!)
Judy Davis, fear of: Celebrity, Naked Lunch (also fear of bugs, fear of drugs, fear of poison)
Little People dressed as babies: The Unholy Three, The Wizard of Oz
Mannequins: Any "Wax Museum" film*
Names (nomastophobia): Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Reservoir Dogs
Planes, Plane Crashes: Fearless, Lord of the Flies (double whammy: in the ocean!)
Rats: Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (also rhytiphobia, fear of wrinkles, and dipsophobia, fear of drinking); Herzog's Nosferatu
Sciophobia (fear of shadows) - all film noir and horror movies. Sorry.
Single: (Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single): The Old Maid, The Women, Sex and the City (which should be avoided even without phobias), Looking for Mr. Goodbar
Snakes: Stanley
Spacephobia: another whole genre, gone.
Teutophobia (Fear of German or German things) Triumph of the Will, Olympia, The Producers

Phobia One-Stop:
"Dead of Night" is chock-full: fear of mirrors, fear of ventriloquist dummies, fear of being forgotten (Athazagoraphobia), fear of physical punishment, fear of amnesia, fear of death -- I can't think of another film that has so many phobias in one tidy package, although John Waters movies - especially "Polyester," do an admirable job.

*Also that Madonna movie where she pours hot wax on Willem Dafoe.

Phobophobia: FEAR OF PHOBIAS!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Zsa Zsa as Minerva

Zsa Zsa Gabor is Minerva, a spa specialist whose scalp machine gets millionaires to reveal the deepest secrets.

Will It Work? I'm Leaning Towards Yes....

Britney Spears in Tarantino's "Faster Pussycat"

The question Remains: Why a remake?

Donna, What does Tura Think ?!?!?!?!

Manson Vampire

Robert Quarry as Deathmaster..... savor the bogus hippie goodness! I do have to say, when you see it in its entirety, they got the whole cult mumbo jumbo right.

Directed by frequent shower-upper-in-stuff Ray Danton.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


If you haven't noticed, and forgive me if you have, Tom Sutpen at Charlie Parker has been posting the taped conversations that made up the classic volume Hitchcock/Truffaut, which I was first introduced to in my film classes in college. It is Hitchcock. It lives. It's also long - as evidenced by the clatter of silverware and crockery in the background.

Tom's up to episode 24 and here's the link to all posted so far (also at pic).

Leave us not forget Slammerers, he's the man who made Ed Gein acceptable to our palates, and plucked out eyeballs with animatronic crows.

Candy Barr Teaches Joan Collins To Strip!

Candy Barr was hired as a choreographer for Seven Thieves and here she is teaching Joan Collins how to strip for the role of Melanie aka 'Madame De La Cruz' . The pictures are from plastico fantastico's photostream. Check out his website here.

"Charming, don't you think?"

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


I don't know what I like more, the way it looks in a movie or the fact that someone filmed this off the TV screen!

I can directly trace my OCD to Fatima. When I was a kid my mother told me, "The Blessed Mother appeared to the little children at Fatima and told them when the world was going to end. They told the Pope, and he wrote it down and locked it away in a box." Every night I prayed over and over, "Please God, please make the Pope tell us when we're going to die!" Every time I saw the Pope on TV I would think, "He knows! And he won't tell us!"

And there you have it.


"If'n ya want more Film Fun, click here and have fun with it!"

Monday, August 4, 2008

Dream Sequence From "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies"

If your dreams start to bear any resemblance to this sequence, it's a sign that everythings going to be alright.

She Who Must Be Obeyed

“SHE” 1935

I finally got a chance to watch the film “She” the adventure film Merian C. Copper made after the success of King Kong after it languished on my my DVD shelf for several month after receiving it as a gift. There have been quite a few version of this film (including a 1965 version with Ursula Andress and Christopher Lee), based on novel and, though minor details change, the basic plot remains the same. A young man discovers his family knows of a secret place where the “flame of life” can keep you alive forever. He goes on an expedition to find it and does.. along with the beautiful queen, SHE who must be obeyed. She thinks he is his ancestor who found her and the flame (500 years before) and plans to keep him there and get rid of his current love interest. This version stars Randolph Scott, Nigel Bruce (who can't help but look like Dr. Watson in everything he does, poor thing) and Helen Gahagan.

First of all, this film is fantastic, in spite of... or many because of it many flaws. The acting is nothing short of atrocious. You might though the actors were in a hypnotic daze the whole time as in Herzog's “Heart of Glass”. The plot holes are so big and obvious, they don't even try to hide them. In fact, the end is so confusing, they point out in the last lines that the character have no idea what happened either. It takes Randolph Scott forever to figure out SHE thinks he is his own great great great grandfather and the SHE is 500 years old even though she tell him practically straight away. In fact, the whole cast is so dense, if you could reaching into the screen and slap some sense into them you would. Why does the queen (who was the inspiration for the evil queen in Disney's “Snow White' apparently) get old when she goes back into the flame again, when that never happened before? Why did it take 500 years for the family to send someone else to find the secret flame of eternal life? Not interesting enough a trip for them until now?

Yet somehow... the whole thing works. The sets are awe inspiring, the matte paintings even better than Kong and some of the effects, like the “primitive slave” (yes this film has a race of cave dwellers ruled by a “higher race” who dress like Roman centurions, doesn't every adventure film?) who swings from giant statue to giant statue to light the fires for the human sacrifice. An avalanche that destroys the camp at the base of an ice mountain and exposes the frozen lake beneath is truly amazing.

Some later versions of this film were called “She Who Must Be Obeyed” and don't think I am not designing myself a T-shirt saying that as soon as I finish writing this!

Saturday, August 2, 2008