Finally, I have PROOF!

On the -- day of Xmas, Amy Winehouse Gave to Me

Anyone who heckles Mickey Rooney not only makes my day but my entire WEEK!

Skidoo screengrabs

Jackie (Tony Banks) trips in jail


Groucho as mob boss "God"


Carol Channing as Flo ("I don't care how many guys you've slept with!")


Cesar Romero (and Peter Lawford's floating head)


Mickey Rooney as "Blue Chips"*


Wow - Lawford is a floating berating head in TWO bad sixties films!


Jackie's coming down

The Slammies

Here at CS we don't acknowledge the Oscars, 'cause ... well, 'cause they don't matter. For our first annual Slammer Awards, here are the illustrious winners. We don't care if they're dead.

'The Roddy McDowall Lifetime and Beyond Achievement Award', goes to William Castle, for influencing generations:



The Most Influential Dead Blonde Award goes to Jayne Mansfield, Goddess:


Our Favorite Queen Poll Winner - surprise! Liberace:


Our one Dead Star Tribute - fittingly, Vampira:


and of course, Satan. Just because.

Mickey Rooney is the Devil, part 17, chapter 8

Just when you think you've seen/heard it all, a friend sends me the following. Y'know, when people find out what upsets you - as in my case, giant bunnies, unfinished wood, Peeps, evil dwarves, and Mickey Rooney - they go out of their way to show you examples. Why?

'Friend' writes:

From one of the latest bootleg catalogs*:

Y291 Milky Life, The (1992) aka: Andy Hardy's Great Lactations (Just Kidding !) - Mickey Rooney plays a rich industrialist that wants to be a baby again. He starts wearing diapers, speaks only baby talk, and hires a big boobied woman (Mariane Sagebrecht) to wet nurse him. Wow, I am guessing all American Cultural Hero Rooney would prefer no one saw this one! With English Subs

Sadly, this is no joke. Here's the IMDB listing and you can see why it hasn't gotten any attention. I'll be damned if I add a plot synopsis and details. It's listed as a "comedy" rather than "horror."

*I'm protecting them in case certain Rooneyites go on their trail. Anyone who puts this movie out deserves to stay in business!

Skidoo! Skiday!

This is one of Mark and my favorite movies. Actually, I think Mavis and I first saw it at the Film Forum years ago! How on earth can I describe it? Otto Preminger made a film about LSD that stars Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Frankie Avalon, Groucho Marx (as crime kingpin "God,"), Mickey Rooney; several of the Batman villians - of which Preminger was one: Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, and Cesar Romero; Arnold Stang (!), Michael Constantine as Gleason's cellmate who proudly declares, "I'm a rapist!" ... Carol Channing doing a striptease on Frankie Avalon's swinger bed while hubby Gleason trips on acid for for the first time, demanding, "Give me a flower!" Watching it demands a group experience: you can't help but blurt out "Norton!" after almost every one of Gleason's lines, such as his grilling of daughter's boyfriend John Philip Law: "What is he, a faggot?" Not only that, Slim Pickens and Harry Nilsson (who sings the film's credits!) are the prison guards. Imagine Slim Pickens on acid.

Here's Nilsson on "Playboy After Dark" promoting the film. Otto Preminger is already there on Hef's couch:


The great thing is that TCM is now showing it, so I don't have to resort to my badly bootlegged copy to show people this unbelievable film.

The Devil is a Sissy

I tivo'd this little gem on TCM, selected by Harvey Fierstein who gleefully told Robert Osbourne, "I am a sissy!" in that great voice of his. What a title! What a cast! And what a premise:


How could I resist? Naturally "Claude" (Freddie Bartholomew - who else?) wears his Little Lord Fauntleroy ensemble the whole time - matching short pants and jacket, with white shirt (he abandons the cap after his first day, but one wonders why his books aren't tied together with a ribbon.) Claude's parents are divorced (oh, the shame!) and despite his mother's disaffection for NY ("Well, all I see is squalor and dirt. And unpleasantly swarthy people.") she ditches Claude-y pants with his father, a clueless architect who remains unconcerned when Claude's retelling of his first day at school includes "electric chair," "up the river," and a "kick me" sign on his back, wishing, "I want them to like me, Father - more than anything ... in the world!" Day two's afterschool request is boxing lessons and a black eye, resulting in a "jolly good!" reaction from Dumb Olde Dad. Bad boys Mickey "Gig" Rooney (son of electrified father and prostitute aunt) and Jackie "Buck" Cooper set out to get Claude and the fun begins.

The IMDB synopsis is much more serious: At a cafe owned by a Frenchman, Claude ostensibly orders a special sauce in French, but actually tells the owner to call the police. When they come, the bullets start flying.



Sadly, neither Franklin Pangborn nor Edward Everett Horton are in it, so it's not "the greatest human drama" that it promises, but still worth watching.