distorting every fact;
but the truth is he's a loser
since Jesus broke his back...
Make way fer Captain Hook and his Christian Pirate Crew,
Gather close, ya landlubbers, and learn how to be a good little pirate on the High Seas of Faith ...
Ol' Slewfoot calls the good Cap'n a FATSO in front of the young'ns!
Let's listen in ...
Captain Hook. The former "bad seed" biker who lost a hand and a leg in a traffic accident, gave his life to the Lord, and decided the best way to spread the Gospel was to assume the guise of a bandit and encourage inflicting bodily harm on the Enemy. The man who gave us the "Christain Pirate Rap." The man who performs on-camera autopsies on "sinners" for the educational benefit of today's wayward youth ("What's this? A beer can?! Oh, gross!!"). The man for whom Jesus was made to walk the plank.
He walked the plank for you, too. And for me.
Avast, and a-men.