Monday, September 22, 2008


The Devil is a blabbermouth,
distorting every fact;
but the truth is he's a loser
since Jesus broke his back...

Make way fer Captain Hook and his Christian Pirate Crew,
ya scalawags!

Gather close, ya landlubbers, and learn how to be a good little pirate on the High Seas of Faith ...

Ol' Slewfoot calls the good Cap'n a FATSO in front of the young'ns!
Let's listen in ...

Captain Hook. The former "bad seed" biker who lost a hand and a leg in a traffic accident, gave his life to the Lord, and decided the best way to spread the Gospel was to assume the guise of a bandit and encourage inflicting bodily harm on the Enemy. The man who gave us the "Christain Pirate Rap." The man who performs on-camera autopsies on "sinners" for the educational benefit of today's wayward youth ("What's this? A beer can?! Oh, gross!!"). The man for whom Jesus was made to walk the plank.
He walked the plank for you, too. And for me.
Avast, and a-men.


Donna Lethal said...

The one thing that frightens me the most on that album cover is the ventriloquist's dummy!

The Scandy Tangerine Man said...

Surely you're not afraid of shipmate "Sharkey"?!
All he wants is your soul.

Y'know, so he can save it.

Donna Lethal said...

He's the devil, not that one in the red suit next to him!