Having recently been blessed with the opportunity to have a late lunch with the scintillating Mavis Martini (Who is even more glamorous, charming, and breathtakingly beautiful in person), our deeply philosophical conversation turned to the subject of the prolific Nashville film making dynasty known as the Ormonds, led by their patriarch, the late Ron Ormond. Aside from giving the world such exploitation classics as THE EXOTIC ONES and FORTY ACRE FEUD, they also produced with the collaboration of the immortal Rev. Estus W. Pirkle, religious films. A series of southern soaked synapse singeing soul saving savior slurping show stopping Sunday school successes , of which I was personally scarred by seeing a screening of THE BURNING HELL at Bethel Baptist Church in Kentucky when I was 14 years old! I know Ms. Lethal has opined on them before but after seeing IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU, WHAT WILL HORSES DO? for the umpteenth time I felt the Holy Spirit move me to post these snippets from this masterpiece. I urge all of you to not just seek out their "Christian" atrocities but the whole of their outlandish "oeuvre". I highly recommend PLEASE DON"T TOUCH ME and GIRL FROM TOBACCO ROW.