Friday, February 13, 2009

Dusting off an old Valentine from Farrah

If Venus the Goddess of Love could be your house guest this weekend, she may very well, look like Farrah Fawcett in all her world weary glory – as seen in her wonderful 1997 Playboy video special called All of Me.

Farrah’s All of Me is up there with The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield in terms of hysterical sexploitation, tragic self promotion, and delusional sexpot past her prime narrating her inner most thoughts for viewers to understand her wild, wild SEXY! world.

The DVD begins with an A&E Biography-type spin through Farrah's wholesome Texas childhood and her step by step career transformation into that 1970s TV / poster superstar we all loved. Plus you get commentary by stylist Jose Eber, sleepy Hugh Hefner, and that loquacious lesbian: Camille Paglia.

Then comes a section documenting the photo sessions for Farrah's mid-90s Playboy photo spreads (this was Playboy promo after all), where Farrah tells us why she chose to do Playboy as she approached age 50 (strangely, cocaine and mounting debts are never mentioned); by the end of the St. Bart's shoot, Farrah crumbles into psycho-drama tears and phones an unknown intimate (maybe the creepy ex-BF who reportedly bashed her head in?) to report, ''I don't like my body, I don't like my hair.'' He apparently assures her that she's sexy and Farrah shares that she drank coconut milk that morning. Genius.

Next we see Farrah - the lifelong fine artist sculpting a female form in clay which she ends up rubbing all over her naked body. She next attacks a large canvas and paints an abstract with those famous pert nipples.

For the guys who were turned on by her naked art lesson, there is a brief interlude (providing time to grab a tissue) where they recap her important acting roles in Extremities (on stage in 1983 and on screen in 1986) where her character is assaulted by a man and she gets revenge by imprisoning him in a fireplace, and in 1984's TV-movie The Burning Bed in which her character is assaulted by a man and she gets revenge by setting him on fire.

Finally, the specia-mercial ends with Farrah’s exotic performance piece of reciting Song of Solomon in her whispery ingĂ©nue way while wearing a black dominatrix wig. She takes a final bow and her robe opens to reveal more nakedness. Cut and Print.
You can watch a claymation dramatization clip here:
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