CELLULOID SLAMMER

Eddie Cantor- Makin' Whoopee

2012-01-29T16:01:00.000-08:00

For inmates who may be getting married......

Keep Calm and Carry On...... Cheeky!

2012-01-23T14:51:00.000-08:00

I can't believe someone hasn't done this already, no?

Amazing Reimaginings of Contemporary Films With Classic Casts

2012-01-20T15:40:00.000-08:00

I am, as the casual speakers in the British part of the UK sometimes say, gobsmacked, at the wonderful execution of these posters by Peter Stults. Go visit them and appreciate the all-around cleverness and beautiful execution. You may just cerebrally shit yourself.

An abrupt emphatic utterance or exclamation

2012-01-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

Ahhh.... the English language

For me it's a hello for after you get to know somebody....

Dearly Departed Interviews: Joan's Grandson

2012-01-05T16:19:00.001-08:00

Scott Michaels interviews Casey Lalonde.

Blasted Oak - George Formby Looks for LSD

2012-01-05T14:37:00.000-08:00

George Formby looks for LSD - sounds like a rough trip, meanwhile... bees, ants, fungus....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/£sd

New Years' Eve

2012-01-02T17:56:00.001-08:00

Good bye Cheetah

2011-12-28T09:37:00.000-08:00

Yes the original Cheetah has died from complications after kidney failure. Yes... the original.. he was 80 years old. Old for most monkeys including humans. (cough, cough - DL)

Correction: please read our resident obit queen Eve Golden on Cheetah here at the NYT.

One More Harry Morgan RIP

2011-12-15T15:17:00.000-08:00

Zontar of Venus had this great image from his series Pete and Gladys. But this post, while paying homage to he who embodied Bill Gannon, is actually about the rich, eyeball-stinging panoply of film imagery at the Zontar site. I wanna say....holy shit. Ok I cussed, now go.

Christmas Punch

2011-12-15T08:39:00.001-08:00

Love these animated shorts from The Punchy Players(Ann Miller as cashier kills me)

Reet, Petite and Gone

2011-12-08T14:43:00.000-08:00

It's a pity that the dialogue scenes are so damaged, but signal-to-noise during the musical numbers is more that adequate to enjoy these copious one-after-the-other Louis Jordan numbers. Download this Archive.org gem HERE (Divx, no less!)

Tallulah Teachin'

2011-12-04T13:48:00.000-08:00

The 100% always delightful Mary Birdsong plays us a clip for a record that has a one-sided script for aspiring actors. go there and experience it. Also look at her other shizzle while you're there, my blizzle rizzles.

Ken Russell 1927- 2011

2011-12-04T12:11:00.000-08:00

One of cinemas most controversial directors has now passed on. Part of a gang of directors that influenced me greatly in my youth (others are Nicholas Roeg, and Herzog) his death for me symbolizes the slow end to the people whose films thrill me 10, 20, 30 even 40 years after they were made. We just rarely see the types of films where the film makers personal obsessions and tastes are not crushed b the system that makes films now. Someone like Russell, with his catholic sex fetishes just wouldn’t make it in today’s world.

This is not to say I love everything the man did. I am not a fan of “Gothic”, “Tommy” (I know, sue me) or even “Lair of the White Worm”. I do watch “Salome’s Last Dance” at least once a year and “The Devils”, “The rainbow” and “Crimes of Passion” have a special place in my DVD collection. I am still angry that his film “Whore” couldn’t even put it’s title on the cover of the box.

Last of the Munchkins (almost)

2011-11-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

Karl Slover, one of the last of 124 Munchkins from the 1939 classic The Wizard of Oz, has passed away at 93. At four-foot-five, Slover was one of the smallest male Munchkins, best known for playing the lead trumpeter in the Munchkins' band. He was also among the seven little people at the 2007 Hollywood Walk of Fame dedication to their contingent, and he continued to appear at events as recently as last week, according to friends. "It wasn't until the Munchkins started making their appearances in 1989 that they all came to realize how potent the film had become and remained," prolific Oz author John Fricke said. "He was wonderfully articulate about his memories, he had anecdotes to share." [AP via HuffPo]

Stinky

2011-11-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

So much for the "baby" fetish. There was a man dressed as a giant sissy baby on mainstream television in the 1950s and everyone acted as it were the most normal thing in the world. How frightening is Stinky?!

Lumberton's hottest disco?

2011-11-13T15:17:00.000-08:00

We've been soaking in "Blue Velvet" nostalgia down here in Wilmywood/"Lumberton" and suddenly everybody-and not just the hipsters-is toasting their Pabst Blue Ribbons to their fucks:

Patrick Swayze was way ahead (or behind) Frank Booth in getting to Pussy Heaven, Lumberton's only disco.

Oh, and here's a juicy tidbit to go with your PBR. Peter was in town and shared his fantastic film with us and told some great stories:

It's a strange world, isn't it?

RE: The Header This Month

2011-11-12T08:43:00.000-08:00

Halfway through this:

Earliest color film test -- with Mae Murray

2011-11-10T06:15:00.001-08:00

Mae Murray with all her lip pouts takes up most of the footage

King Missile - Martin Scorsese

2011-11-08T08:57:00.000-08:00

I always loved this song.

What a Hack !!

2011-10-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

Shelley Hack became famous for her 70s Revlon CHARLIE perfume commercials in which she sauntered through glamorous hotel lobbies and into limos to a catchy jingle - which made Charlie the #1 scent in the world with $1 billion in sales for 1977. It sold 70s glamour and freedom in a bottle.

Here's a clip of her with The Velvet Fog crooning the jingle.

Hack grew up in Greenwich Connecticut - daughter of a Wall Street financial analyst father and ex-stewardess/model mother. The eldest of 6 children, Hack graduated from Smith College with a degree in history.

People Mag offered this tidbit:
She moved into a third-floor walk-up in Greenwich Village, signed full-time with the Eileen Ford model agency and took acting lessons at the Herbert Berghof Studio. "My father encouraged me to invest my money," Shelley remembers. "As far as he was concerned, I was in business—the business of selling my face." She sank her earnings into a 244-acre farm in New York's Catskills. "It's dairy country, not chic," she says. "It's a nice contrast to put on my barn clothes and go out and slosh."

This high profile, high paying modeling gig led to one lackluster season replacing Kate Jackson on the withering Charlie's Angels (her debut episode featured the Angels going on the Love Boat cruise ship to solve a crime. Bring a Book. Snoozefest.)

Producers thought she was a perfect choice to play the sophisticated "classy" angel from Boston named Miss Tiffany Welles.

"Maybe the show will make me a star overnight, maybe it won't."

Hack may have hated the weak writing -or- the network brass critiques because by season's end she was emoting with all the dull or defiantly aloof delivery of a bored 8th and final season Elizabeth Montgomery on Bewitched. Her contract option was not picked up by ABC and she left the Angels for good.

In 1982, Hack was perfectly cast as the fabulously bright and refined network TV assistant Cathy Long in The King of Comedy. She is pitch perfect in her lobby scenes with Rupert Pupkin. As the script details, she is the epitome of "strained politeness".

                  PUPKIN
     Are you speaking for Jerry?

                 CATHY LONG
     Let's put it this way, Mr. Pupkin.
     Mr. Langford has complete faith in
     our judgment.

                 PUPKIN
     I'm sorry to have to say this, Miss
     Long, and I certainly don't want you
     to take it personally, but I have to
     tell you that I don't ... I don't
     have faith in your judgment.

                 CATHY LONG
     Well, I'm sorry you feel that way,
     Mr. Pupkin. But I'm afraid there's
     nothing that can be done about that.

                 PUPKIN
     No ... No ... I'm afraid I'll have
     to disagree with you again.

                 CATHY LONG
           (with strained politeness)
     That's your privilege, Mr. Pupkin.
     Now, if you'll excuse me, please, I
     have some things to do. I'm sorry
     the news isn't better.

CATHY LONG turns to go.

                  PUPKIN
     Miss Long?

CATHY LONG turns back.

                 PUPKIN
     When are you expecting Jerry in?

                 CATHY LONG
     He won't be in until very late this
     afternoon.

                 PUPKIN
     That's fine. Thank you.

Starting in 2000 and for the next decade, Hack became founder and president of Shelley Hack Media Consultancy (SHMC), a company primarily involved in media consultancy for pre- and post-conflict countries. Her company worked on projects to transition Bosnian State television to a public broadcaster, as well as producing Bosnian TV political debates and providing media training for Bosnian politicians.

In the last few years, Hack has been popping into the Autograph Convention circuit and gladly signing autographs and posing with fans - for a small fee.

Shelley Hack is married to TV director Harry Winer and they have a 21-year-old daughter.
You want to see a photo of their PRIDE and JOY ? (thanks Rupert)

MONKEY SHINES

2011-10-25T11:35:00.000-07:00

Donna and I were discussing how it always annoyed us that every KONG film conveniently skipped over showing viewers the logistical nightmare of moving a sedated 40-foot ape into the hull of a ship and setting him up in a Broadway theater.

Bates Motel - Ex-quisite Interpretation

2011-10-24T17:13:00.000-07:00

My email this morning told me that Gay Carrington had become a subscriber to my YouTube Channel and as my sweet palsy-walsy Ange had previously, in a private email told me, I am in fact, an attention whore, so I figured I'd see what Gay had to offer. Haunting. Direct. Amusing. Stylish. and f*cking WEIRD.

I'd like to offer Gay's rendition of this paraphrased reinterpretation of some footage from Psycho it seemed perfect for Hallowe'en on myriad levels.
Please as usual, no comments.

Hallowe'en Uncensored Fake Criterions - Hillbillies In A Haunted House

2011-10-15T11:14:00.000-07:00

UNCENSORED Fake Criterions

"When I diet, I diet. And when I orgasm, I orgasm." - Liz Taylor

2011-10-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Taylor is in The Driver's Seat.
Mentally disturbed spinster Lise experiences a series of bizarre encounters in Rome as she searches for someone to murder her.

New Uncensored Fake Criterion - Deer Hunter - E. Jordan

2011-09-27T14:41:00.000-07:00

Uncensored fake criterions:This time by artist Elizabeth Jordan - check out her amazing work HERE

Also, suck it, Fake Criterions.

Holy Perfect Pitch!

2011-09-27T11:28:00.001-07:00

Charles Bronson

2011-09-16T11:14:00.001-07:00

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

2011-09-15T10:12:00.000-07:00

Maddening, isn't it?

Andy Whitfield, R.I.P.

2011-09-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

Oh damn. This makes me so sad, big Spartacus fan that I am.

Uncensored Fake Criterions - The Girl Can't Help It

2011-09-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

An Invitation to YOU

2011-09-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

So.... I had this recent email exchange:

"Lex10 to fakecriterions

show details 12:59 PM (3 hours ago)

So, um, just out of curiosity is it that:
you get thousands of submissions,
or is it that you did not find my design good-looking enough,
or is it because you found the humor in bad taste?
(Plot Summary for Manhattan: Isaac, 42, has divorced Jill. She is now living with another woman, Connie, and is writing a book in which she will reveal some very private points of their relationship. Isaac has a love affair with Tracy, 17, when he meets Mary, the mistress of his best friend Yale. Yale is already married to Emily.)
I'm a big boy and can take it on the first two.....

Thanks, Lex10

P.S. Chuck Palahniuk found my Fight Club good enough to post,

Fake Criterions to me

show details 1:14 PM (3 hours ago)

Yes."

I found it quite funny. the one-word response belying acerbic disdain n'all. And so, since my work isn't good enough, and they're too busy, and I showed bad taste, I have Founded UNCENSORED FAKE CRITERIONS the original admittedly a brilliant concept and I invite you to SUBMIT. You could literally take a dump on a sheet of paper and entitle it "C.C. & Company" and it will go up. The funny thing is, I will probably censor it for porn or exploitation, so, uh, it's uh, funny, no? 'Cause it's till censored.

Submit at Uncensored Fake Criterions

Yet Another Fake Criterion of "Manhattan"

2011-09-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

Fake Criterion - Manhattan - Woody Allen

2011-09-06T11:05:00.001-07:00

By me. Bick for Cligger

A Bottom Lip Like A Living Room Sofa

2011-09-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

From RETROZONEclick it, Pickett

Hooray for Holly(Ed)Wood

2011-09-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

If you think that Ed Wood's era of low budget filmmaking and laughable rubber monsters died by the mid-60s, think again.

One stoned-out Sunday, I decided to watch the indie sci-fi film SKY LINE on Netflix because mainly it had sexy hipster Eric Balfour battling aliens.

The film cost up to $10 mil to make (mainly due to the CGI digital effects) which returned that investment sixfold with a world-wide take of $67 million.

Eric Balfour told interviewers how he became involved with the independently financed film directed by special-effects supervisors turned directors."I was invited to come down to the Hydraulx office. And the guys… We did a small reading and we went over a couple of scenes. Then they showed me the trailer that they had cut for the movie with their friends. They basically said, "So you want in?" After seeing the trailer I was like, "This looks amazing. I'm totally in."

Most of the action was shot in the high-rise condo where director/producer Greg Strause lives for $500,000. The visual effects in Post jacked the budget up to $10 million. The Brothers Strause say that they have a sequel in mind. They will do it with their own money if they have to and try to find a distributor after that. Somewhere Ed Wood is smiling.

In the true Ed Wood tradition, SKY LINE offer actors in a one-set, claustrophic setting (ie: a Hi-RISE in LA's Marina) due to budget limitations - as well as featuring crow-barred "emotional" moments for the cast to chew on - which is laugh inducing because they are on the verge of extinction but cannot get past their petty hangups. One actor has a rather noticeable and distracting speech impediment. While playing macho - he has to utter lines with way too many R's for him to handle. Oh, and the aliens are brain-gulping flappy vagina monsters.

Best of all, Eric Balfour has a beat down scene with an alien monster on the rooftop that brings a flashback to Ed Wood's BRIDE of the MONSTER ("Just roll around with the octopus.").The CGI effects are decent - but unfortunately CGI (or in Ed Wood's case : stock footage) cannot do everything a director needs to tell a story, and a group of actors must always fill in the gaps. As we all know, this is where the real low-budget comedy comes in. Some things never change.

Don't Look Up (at the screen!)

My Fight Club Fake Criterion Cover

2011-09-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

Chuck Palahniuk was looking for these for a Gallery, I've wanted to do a Fake Criterion, so here it is:

Great Pains Were Taken

2011-08-25T20:29:00.001-07:00

Sybil Danning

2011-08-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

Just because.

Could she fit more references to every sci fi project every done to date in this opening?

btw: thanks to Thomas Blue for sending this my way!

Jimmy Sangster

2011-08-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

R.I.P, Gualtiero Jacopetti

2011-08-18T11:30:00.001-07:00

If happy bye-bye birdies fly, why oh why can't I ?

2011-08-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Charlie Chan in Egypt Slide Show

2011-08-16T14:55:00.000-07:00

Slideshow of images from Charlie Chan in Egypt. Not my provenance.CLICK PIC FOR SHTICK

Fck You, Woman, Fck You

2011-08-14T12:51:00.000-07:00

Baby Jane, Dirty Dozen, and Lady Wrestlers

2011-07-30T23:35:00.000-07:00

In 1980, after a dreaded actor's strike, Robert Aldrich made his final film: ALL THE MARBLES starring Peter Falk as a manager of two female wrestlers played by Broadway dancer vet Vicki Frederick and newcomer Laurene Landon.

The R-rated rags-to-riches tale of Peter Falk's "California Dolls" was a blast for me to find as a teen. It all ends with a big ROCKY-esque showdown in the ring which gets viewers all riled up. A few years later, Matt Cimber created the G.L.O.W. (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) for TV syndication gold.

The DVD is available as a special order archive collection. Reviews say: Vicki Frederick lends a real emotional gravity to her struggles with her chosen career and Laurene Landon has a girlish charm that is positively ingratiating. However, All The Marbles really belongs to Peter Falk, whose grizzled charisma is a natural fit for the role of the manager.

Here is a brilliant interview with the blonde star of the film- Laurene Landon- you will love it. She was 19 and called director Aldrich "Mr Altman" on her first day on the set. He laughed it off - thinking she was being a jokester. Nope- she was just 19 and being 'blonde'.

Her brunette co-star Vicki Frederick was 10 years older and more showbiz savvy. Frederick had just left Broadway to try her hand in Hollywood. She found roles as dancing/voluptuous gals on Laverne & Shirley, Mork & Mindy- and would later be cast as Sheila in the 1985 feature film version of A CHORUS LINE - however, back in 1980, All the Marbles promised to be her biggest feature film role and she wanted that part! The actresses trained for weeks with local LA-area Mexican wrestlers and were more than ready to take it to the mat when cameras started rolling.

With the passing of the great Peter Falk recently, I remembered all the entertaining moments he gave to filmdom - and the night I went alone to the cinema and got caught up in ALL THE MARBLES.

Jayne Mansfield: That Makes It

2011-07-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

from LAS VEGAS HILLBILLYS

Women are the greatest ones

2011-07-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

Vibrator Joke

2011-07-26T16:11:00.000-07:00

George Burns - ahead of his time:

Blithe Spirit

2011-07-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

Really, this scene is the template for so many of those charlatans out there today. Brilliant.

Googie Withers

2011-07-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

Big fan. If only for "Dead of Night"'s terrifying mirror sequence-but Googie was more than that.

A Life in Reruns

2011-07-12T11:53:00.000-07:00

Sherwood Schwartz has died in his sleep at age 94. His 4 children were nearby - along with his wife of 69 years, Mildred.

Schwartz started in radio working with Bob Hope, Ozzie & Harriet and moved to televsion with Red Skelton.

His own creations Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch have a lasting power that are due partially to great casting decisions, fun cartoony writing, and kicky theme songs (written by Schwartz) that hooked you within seconds and didn't let you go. His sitcom worlds (tropic island, suburbia) were cleverly made more fun for viewers with a steady stream of dopplegangers, guest stars, and dream sequences. Returning to watch these shows is like visiting a favorite amusement park, or eating a favorite candy from our youth.

His "Gilligan's Island" (which aired for 3 years) became a 4-decade franchise of
2 cartoons, 3 TV-reunion films, a summer stock stage musical, a reality show, and a planned feature film.

His "Brady Bunch" (which aired for 5 years) became a 4-decade franchise of
1 cartoon, a 70s Variety Show, a spin-off sitcom The Brady Brides, and a short-lived dramedy The Bradys (we dubbed: Bradysomething). He hit gold again when he visited a storefront Chicago theater in 1991 and saw that audiences loved sharing in the memories of the original sitcom by attending a show called: Real Live Brady Bunch. He didn't sue the non-profit tiny theater - he simply ran with that satire idea and produced 2 feature film parodies and a TV-film where the parody bunch moved to the White House.

The actors in his 60s shows were kept in the limelight by his reruns, reunions,
and were given an immortality that many in showbiz seldom enjoy. Some were embittered by lack of residual money and the type casting. Schwartz knew it was a double-edged sword. He said: "That's the damaging thing about being terrific in what you do as an actor, everybody wants you to be the same person.”

Being the true Producer he was - he had to make his own living, and move on to the next project. He would bring back these "same persons" again and again as long as the public wanted to embrace them.

If anybody could re-invent his properties (or squeeze every last penny from them) it was Mr. Schwartz. He was kind and personable to fans, and loved his work. We loved it back.

Sleep well, Sherwood Schwartz.

The Perfect Host

2011-07-10T11:58:00.001-07:00

David Hyde-Pierce knocking it outta the park in this work directed by nobody and starring nobodies - all nailing it. Plus - hey! Helen Reddy! This was a great companion piece to Girly (posted below) and would also be a good double feature with Christopher Nolan's Following.

Real Estate divinity

2011-07-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

This charming 3 bedroom, 1 bath $149,900 priced home in Baltimore seems like a perfect place to raise a family, doesn't it?

However, the RedFin real estate site's photos don't really give you the full history of this "historical" home at 3900 Greenmount Avenue.

Lucky for us filthy people, the TRASHY TRAVELS facebook page does - even showing us the unfinished basement just the way Channing left it - as well as a banister once licked by Divine. This indeed was once the Pink Flamingos movie home of filthy perverts Connie & Raymond Marble (while the real residence of John Waters and Mink Stole). Talk about curb appeal.

http://www.facebook.com/trashytravels

When Jerry Lewis Met Al Goldstein

2011-07-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

Josh Friedman, where are you?

The Party, The Mother, The Ride

2011-06-30T00:40:00.001-07:00

Oh, the fun of 70s teen alcohol scare films.

"The plot was average; you had to think a lot."

2011-06-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

1970's teen show, "Groove-in" reviews Kubricks's "2001: A Space Odyssey". Oh, and there's also a fashion bit...

You're Nobody til Gunther Toody Loves You

2011-06-28T17:29:00.001-07:00

Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, & Girly

2011-06-23T14:02:00.001-07:00

aka "Girly" - I got this one on Netflix on demand!

R.I.P., Crazy Cat!

2011-06-21T15:48:00.000-07:00

"If it was any fresher..."

2011-06-18T19:22:00.001-07:00

I am an asshole

2011-06-16T21:49:00.000-07:00

I am an asshole

Tweet's Ladies of Pasadena

2011-06-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

The legendary unfinished film by our hero Timothy Carey. Tweet Twig, the only male member of the all-ladies Pasadena knitting club and his mission to clothe all the naked animals in the world. Rumor has it that Carey turned down the role of Luca Brasi in The Godfather to focus on this masterpiece.

L'illusionniste (2010)

2011-06-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

L'illusionniste (2010) 80 min

Director Sylvain Chomet and the team that made «Triplets of Bellville» have made a new animated film that is truly amazing to see. The characters studies are wonderfully subtle and look and colours are amazing. Like «Belville» this Belgian film really is beyond language. Most of the dialog is unintelligible and while you might catch a french or english word here or there... it isn’t really important as the entire story is told visually. Only a note at the very end of the film is important in terms of story.. very important, though reading it on the note or in a subtitle wont take away from the experience.

The only flaw in this film is one clip that is a little too computer generated and it passes quickly. Like most hand drawn animations, physical items like cars or other solid objects are occasionally rendered with CGI but match really well with the detailed characters and painted back drops.

The story is a bitter sweet one, following the degrading career of a magician forced to go into smaller and smaller venues as the call for his sort of entertainment dwindles with the public tastes. A young girl at a Scottish pub where he is performing thinks he is really magic (this takes place before the second world war) and she decides to follow him on his travels. he reluctantly allows her and while he tries to tell her he really isn’t magic, he nevertheless tries to realize her dreams, even if it means making his life more difficult than it already is.

In many ways this is a film by animators for animators but it’s sweetness and ambiguous storyline should appeal to anyone.

Who wants to die for art ?!!

2011-05-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

teaser trailer for the new 2012 doc here

THE LOOK - Brady style

2011-05-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

The Greatest Movie Sandwiches of All Time

2011-05-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

My hat is off to the creator. Flawless execution. Chuck Workman couldn't have done a better job.

Rides a Bike

2011-05-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you must all know about it, but Rides a Bike is awesome. (Especially if you ride a bike.)

Pulchritude

2011-05-08T14:49:00.000-07:00

From Kiss Me Stupid

Royally Winning

2011-05-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

Last one - I promise - but after all, he was in Platoon and Wall Street!

Jack

2011-05-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

...and Mickey Rooney LIVES.

Poor Yvette.

2011-05-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

50 ft. Woman's Rival Found Mummied

2011-05-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

Yyvette Vickers found dead. Daily Mail tarts it up pretty good for us, so go there. Ya just KNEW she'd come to no good after 52 years of being a hot starlet (well maybe not so hot in the end....)
Who's up for some bare 1959 heinie?

"Is Your Father Home?"

2011-04-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

Wow, I never saw Afterschool Specials like this!

Stingray Sam - Welcome to Mars!

2011-04-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

Stingray Sam - Welcome to Mars! - Cory McAbee

The Christine Jorgensen Story

2011-04-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

What? This was shown on TNT? Anyway, it's now on Netflix on-demand. Featuring PZ and DL fave Elaine Joyce as bitchy model who calls George (pre-C) Jorgenson a "queer."

Yep, that's Butch (Trent Lehman) from "Nanny and the Professor" who's wearing sis Dolly (Pamelyn Ferdin's) dress. Christine says she never cross-dressed as a child.

Here's the real Christine:

Loud and Proud

2011-04-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

HBO's "Cinema Verite" offers glimpses of the making of the first "reality" show, "An American Family" from 1973. The Loud family of Santa Barbara was profiled and over the course of the series, the peeling away of their seemingly perfect (boring!) family facade reveals a much more interesting cast of characters.

Perhaps the most interesting was the eldest son, Lance, who moved to New York and took up with the Warhol gang, eventually becoming a writer for "Interview" and lead singer of the Mumps. Lance died of AIDS, at 50.

One fer all yew got-dang freaks

2011-04-21T16:13:00.000-07:00

False.

2011-04-18T16:37:00.001-07:00

THE LOOK - Here's Lucy style

2011-04-17T18:54:00.001-07:00

In her final successful sitcom until her CBS-imposed retirement in 1974, sixty-something Lucille Ball played Lucy Carter and pimped her real-life teen kids to audiences (Desi Jr was a hot box- but he eventually left the series and his mom's on set screaching). By then, Lucy heavily relied on cue cards and a parade of guest stars to cover the lack of physical comedy. Below you will find a swingin' 60s Liz Taylor; a caftanned Shelley Winters; Lawrence Welk; Wally Cox; fearless Flip Wilson; and sitcom guest 'must have' Eva Gabor who arrives wearing her sunglasses at night. Vivian Vance agreed to come on once a year but was more content to stay in Connecticut with her (gay) hubby/companion. Our Donna Lethal joked that the credit-sequence top-hatted Lucy marionnete was (for her) the most terrifying sight on television.

London Swings

2011-04-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

Captain Sensible posted this and points out: sensiblecaptain Captain Sensible

Iggy the Eskimo (naked beauty on Syd Barrett sleeve) shopping in fab 60s boutique 'Granny Takes A Trip'

THE LOOK - Bewitched style

2011-04-15T14:10:00.001-07:00

Angela Scoular

2011-04-12T13:48:00.001-07:00

Bananas

2011-04-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

I just LIVE for the moments when Gena Rowlands calls somebody a "banana" in Cassavetes films.

"Okay, you bananas, inside. Move it!" (Gloria)

Whoa. Top Chef Masters Channels The Andy Griffith Show

2011-04-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

Not movies related per se, but who doesn't love Don Knotts or his reincarnation.

THE QUEEN (1968)

2011-04-06T22:23:00.000-07:00

Anybody have a copy of this documentary about late 60s drag balls? Miss Crystal LeBeija's finale tantrum clip is on YOU TUBE. I need more.

Paul McMahon - photographer and pal of Marlene Dietrich passes

2011-04-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

Paul McMahon and his husband Ralph Hodgdon were the subject of my film "50 Years". Last week Paul past away suddenly from a cancer he had no idea he had at the age of 78.

Paul was a confident and stage manager for Ms Dietrich for 13 years. He met her when he tried to get her autograph back stage and was hit by the hair brush she had thrown at someone in a tantrum. He handed it back to her saying, "Miss Dietrich, I believe you dropped this" and they became fast friends.

Paul was also a photographer, silversmith and writer on top of being a pioneer in the fight for gay rights. He met his husband, artist Ralph Hodgdon in Central park, New York in the 50's and they never separated after that. I met them well over 20 years ago and we maintained a very nice friendship that led to my film about them.

A fixture in gay pride parades in Boston, the sign they carried said how long they had been together and how many years they were married.

This year's sign would have said: "Together 56 years, married 7".

Morgan Morgan (Minnie & Moskowitz - 1971)

2011-04-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

My favorite actor, Timothy Agoglia Carey, in one of his most overlooked performances. Morgan Morgan in John Cassavetes' Minnie and Moskowitz. He was a genius, a sinner and a lunatic.

Deafula

2011-04-02T15:33:00.001-07:00

Poisson D'Avril

2011-04-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

sueZ noehtnaP ot pac eht rof pac eht 'o pit A :redaeh s'htnom sihT

Pictogram posters

2011-03-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

Loved these. GO HERE.

More Ice-T Movie Reviews

2011-03-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

I love them.

Bigger Than Life

2011-03-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

I believe these two are out there in the Smoochiverse together, laughin' and lovin':

We'll not see the likes of them again...

Birdemic - Shock and Terror

2011-03-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

Recently, thanks to some promotion from «Riff tracks» the online site with the guys from Mystery Science Theatre 3000 making fun of movies as they watch them, a truly awful film has emerged and is gaining somewhat of a cult status. Some cinemas are even playing the film at midnight and people are coming with props and yelling put downs prepared in advance... just like the old days. What is this modern day masterpiece of «how not to make a film»? It’s «Birdemic - Shock and Terror» and I can vouch for it’s complete and I do mean complete lack of a single element of quality throughout it’s entire runtime.

How bad is it? Many horrible films have stupid plots (if any), bad filming, sound and effects (and this does not disappoint in any of those categories), but how many films are so bad that the actual transitions from one shot to another make you laugh out loud. In today’s computer assisted offline editing environment a simple crossfade is hard to screw up.. yet somehow «Birdemic» makes even the most simple and invisible of transitions into something so poorly executed, you can’t ignore it.

The plot is basically 40 minutes of nothing happening... lots of driving, parking, slowly pulling into traffic with no mention of birds, never mind a birdemic, then it violently collides with another film with a scene of «eagles» (computer generated puppets that I guess might look like eagles if you were really high on something) diving in to a gas station making bomber sounds and squawking (exactly) like seagulls. Oh.. and they explode on contact. And at one point they pee acid on people. They also break every law of aerodynamics you can think of. Why? How? Do you really think you’re going to get a reasonable explantation, or any at all?

Even if the cutting, sound and image quality were acceptable, the acting would drag this film easily into «worse film of all time» territory, but since those elements are equally bad it lifts the bar for bad acting to a level that may never be topped. People come and go in this film for no reason and more than one says «it’s not the eagles that scare me but the most dangerous animal of all, the human race» and then they rant about global warming for 3 minutes and walk away. The really scary thing about this movie is that the director is making a sequel... in 3D!

The thing that makes all bad films amazing to watch is when you can see the film maker has no idea the film is bad at all. In fact, this film like Glen or Glenda, tries so hard to be relevant and meaningful you almost feel obligated to find something good to not just crush the director’s ego completely. «Birdemic» will not provide you with even the slimmest chance of that, but good luck looking.

For those who want to see how bad, bad can be this is the film to see. I recommend the «Riff Tracks» version to keep the pain to a minimum.

THE LOOK - Gilligan style

2011-03-26T23:47:00.001-07:00

Sid - a nancy?

2011-03-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

Well every Queen must have a Palace - and Hollywood cinema showman Sid Grauman had many.

Sid built the Million Dollar Theater (1918), Egyptian Theater (1922) and Chinese Theater (1927) and first orchestrated what would become known as a film premiere ceremony with a red carpet entrance for the showbiz elite. He staged elaborate pre-film shows and started the footprints-in-cement tradition that keeps tourists coming into the 21st century.

The Indiana-born only son of David Grauman (who died in 1921) and Rosa Goldsmith (1853–1936) had gone to the Yukon with his father to discover gold- but Sid soon found another way to acquire a fortune by setting up entertainments for the miners near the Klondike River. As a newsboy there, he sold papers for as much as a dollar a copy to news-hungry miners. Once he sold a paper for $50 to a store-keeper, who charged miners admission and read the paper to them.

He stayed in the Yukon after his father returned home and staged boxing matches which turned a handsome profit in gold pieces during those 2 years from 1898-1900.

He joined his father and mother in San Francisco and saw his first motion picture. He also saw the earning potential as a theater owner. Grauman's first theater in San Francisco (THE UNIQUE) with its carpeted stairs and stylized entry inspired Marcus Loew and Alexander Pantages for their huge theater chains. The UNIQUE featured vaudeville performers such as Al Jolson, Fatty Arbuckle and Sophie Tucker, as well as movies, including the West Coast premiere of “The Great Train Robbery.”

Grauman took over six theaters in the Bay Area. He later sold his theaters to Hungarian-Jewish immigrant Adolph Zukor (who created Paramount Pictures) and Grauman started expanding into Los Angeles (downtown) and Hollywood.

On Feb. 18, 1918, Grauman opened the 2,300-seat Million Dollar Theater in downtown Los Angeles, with Charlie Chaplin and Douglas Fairbanks in attendance to watch William S. Hart’s “The Silent Man” (the theater still stands on Broadway).

Chaplin reportedly used some of Grauman's Klondike tales for The Gold Rush.

Sid (known for his Mad Hatter hair and demeanor) loved practical jokes. His most notorious practical joke was played on director Ernst Lubitsch, who was frightened of flying. Grauman hired two stuntmen dressed as pilots to run down the aisle and parachute from the plane on which Lubitsch was travelling.

On another occasion, Grauman staged a Chaplin look-alike contest with official judges, with Chaplin himself as a secret contestant (Chaplin lost).

He also once persuaded Marcus Loew to address a meeting of theater owners, who turned out to be 75 wax dummies.

Sid also dressed in drag for blind dates (arranged by Chaplin) so they could clown on the unsuspecting schmucks. They pulled this prank on Samuel Goldwyn and Jackie Coogan's father.

Capitalizing on 20s King Tut-mania, Sid created 1,800-seat Egyptian Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard. The Egyptian held Hollywood’s first movie world premiere on October 1922 (before then all films opened in New York) for Douglas Fairbanks’ “Robin Hood,” arguably the actor’s most successful film. One of the theatrical elements that Sid put in place was an actor attired as an Egyptian guard, marching back and forth across the roof parapet with a rifle in hand – calling out the start of each performance. ( I bet Sid enjoyed that casting call).

Real estate mogul C.E. Toberman helped him secure a long-term lease on a piece of property on the boulevard and Grauman developed the plans for the Chinese theatre with architect Raymond Kennedy. Norma Talmadge turned the first spade full of dirt in January 1926 and beautiful Chinese actress Anna May Wong drove the first rivet in the steel girders. Built at a cost of $2,000,000, eighteen months later the Chinese Theatre opened. Authorization had to be obtained from the U.S. government to import temple bells, pagodas, stone Heaven Dogs and other artifacts from China.

Sid (according to legend) invited investors Fairbanks & Pickford over from The Roosevelt Hotel to see the construction of his new Chinese Theater. When the stars stepped in wet cement just off the curb - showman that he was, Sid recognized an opportunity. That night Mary Pickford dated her footprint - (and would later recreate the experience in an official ceremony months later).

fun fact: These original sidewalk block footprints were removed in 1960 for the Walk of Fame and have been kept in an airline hangar by a private owner for decades.

Reporter James Bacon told the story that actor Jack Oakie drove by Grauman’s Chinese Theater on December 8, 1941, the day after the Pearl Harbor attack, and yelled at Sid: “Hey, Sid, aren’t you glad you didn’t call it ‘Grauman’s Japanese…?’

In his personal life, he was known as a gentleman - living at the Ambassador Hotel (across the hall from his Mother) and was a lifelong bachelor. He never chased the pretty skirts working at his theaters - instead he inspected the tidiness of the usherette's costume/uniforms before each shift.

The only non-film related person to put their footprints in Sid's Chinese Theater forecourt cement was his mother Rosa.

Sid Grauman never owned the Chinese theatre outright, but held a one-third interest with his partners, Howard Schenck, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. Grauman sold his share to Fox West Coast Theatres in 1929 and was the Managing Director of the theatre until his death in 1950. He received an honorary Academy Award two years before he died. The last cement ceremony he presided over was with John Wayne.

He is interred (in a family crypt with mama nearby) amongst filmdom's golden era greats at Forest Lawn - Glendale.

Go, Charlie GO!

2011-03-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

THE ORIGINAL

PANDERING TO THE ZEITGEIST

APOCALYPSE YOW!

THAT TV'S NOT PLUGGED IN.........

CHARLIE MAKE GLENN SAD.

YAY!

NEW SERIES: ONE AND 0.17 MEN

NEWEST GODDESS

LINDSAY: SCOOBY-DOIN' IT

WHOOPSY - A LIL' TOO FAR

Messrs. Weissmuller & McFarland

2011-03-11T12:02:00.000-08:00

Jane Russell

2011-02-28T17:28:00.000-08:00

first clip from Ladies Home Journal article on The Women of Howard Hughes, 1972

E.T. sequel trailer

2011-02-28T09:45:00.000-08:00

This spoof sequel trailer is inspired. The Grey Gardens poster in Gertie's room was a nice touch - as is Neil Diamond's "heartlight" playing in Elliot's car.

PS --
Seeing that ET clip of the bike/moon on EVERY Oscar telecast makes me wanna vomit. ENOUGH !!! Besides, Spielberg needs to be told he's a dick for remastering shit. Victor Fleming didn't go back in 1949 and add "better" effects to Wizard of Oz because he could. The new bouncy CGI E.T. (circa 2002) looks even more dated now than the 1982 puppet/costume version.

Black Classic Hollywood Posters

2011-02-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

Black History Album has a nice collection (albeit small size) of classic era movie posters starring, directed by, and often produced by African Americans, with many by Oscar Micheaux. I wanna see 'em!

Ice-T's One-Word Movie Reviews

2011-02-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

I follow Ice's twitter (and of course Coco's.) He just posted this review:

Here's hoping he makes this a regular thing.

CELLULOID SLAMMER

Eddie Cantor- Makin' Whoopee

Keep Calm and Carry On...... Cheeky!

Amazing Reimaginings of Contemporary Films With Classic Casts

An abrupt emphatic utterance or exclamation

Dearly Departed Interviews: Joan's Grandson

Blasted Oak - George Formby Looks for LSD

New Years' Eve

Good bye Cheetah

One More Harry Morgan RIP

Christmas Punch

Reet, Petite and Gone

Tallulah Teachin'

Ken Russell 1927- 2011

Last of the Munchkins (almost)

Stinky

Lumberton's hottest disco?

RE: The Header This Month

Earliest color film test -- with Mae Murray

King Missile - Martin Scorsese

What a Hack !!

MONKEY SHINES

Bates Motel - Ex-quisite Interpretation

Hallowe'en Uncensored Fake Criterions - Hillbillies In A Haunted House

"When I diet, I diet. And when I orgasm, I orgasm." - Liz Taylor

New Uncensored Fake Criterion - Deer Hunter - E. Jordan

Holy Perfect Pitch!

Charles Bronson

Hello, I'm Shelley Duvall!

Andy Whitfield, R.I.P.

Uncensored Fake Criterions - The Girl Can't Help It

An Invitation to YOU

Yet Another Fake Criterion of "Manhattan"

Fake Criterion - Manhattan - Woody Allen

A Bottom Lip Like A Living Room Sofa

Hooray for Holly(Ed)Wood

My Fight Club Fake Criterion Cover

Great Pains Were Taken

Sybil Danning

Jimmy Sangster

R.I.P, Gualtiero Jacopetti

If happy bye-bye birdies fly, why oh why can't I ?

Charlie Chan in Egypt Slide Show

F*ck You, Woman, F*ck You

Baby Jane, Dirty Dozen, and Lady Wrestlers

Jayne Mansfield: That Makes It

Women are the greatest ones

Vibrator Joke

Blithe Spirit

Googie Withers

A Life in Reruns

The Perfect Host

Real Estate divinity

When Jerry Lewis Met Al Goldstein

The Party, The Mother, The Ride

"The plot was average; you had to think a lot."

You're Nobody til Gunther Toody Loves You

Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, & Girly

R.I.P., Crazy Cat!

"If it was any fresher..."

I am an asshole

Tweet's Ladies of Pasadena

L'illusionniste (2010)

Who wants to die for art ?!!

THE LOOK - Brady style

The Greatest Movie Sandwiches of All Time

Rides a Bike

Pulchritude

Royally Winning

Jack

Poor Yvette.

50 ft. Woman's Rival Found Mummied

"Is Your Father Home?"

Stingray Sam - Welcome to Mars!

The Christine Jorgensen Story

Loud and Proud

One fer all yew got-dang freaks

False.

THE LOOK - Here's Lucy style

London Swings

Fck You, Woman, Fck You