Uncensored fake criterions:This time by artist Elizabeth Jordan - check out her amazing work HERE
Also, suck it, Fake Criterions.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
An Invitation to YOU
So.... I had this recent email exchange:
"Lex10 to fakecriterionsshow details 12:59 PM (3 hours ago)
So, um, just out of curiosity is it that:
you get thousands of submissions,
or is it that you did not find my design good-looking enough,
or is it because you found the humor in bad taste?
(Plot Summary for Manhattan: Isaac, 42, has divorced Jill. She is now living with another woman, Connie, and is writing a book in which she will reveal some very private points of their relationship. Isaac has a love affair with Tracy, 17, when he meets Mary, the mistress of his best friend Yale. Yale is already married to Emily.)
I'm a big boy and can take it on the first two.....
Thanks, Lex10
P.S. Chuck Palahniuk found my Fight Club good enough to post,
Fake Criterions to me
show details 1:14 PM (3 hours ago)
Yes."
I found it quite funny. the one-word response belying acerbic disdain n'all. And so, since my work isn't good enough, and they're too busy, and I showed bad taste, I have Founded UNCENSORED FAKE CRITERIONS the original admittedly a brilliant concept and I invite you to SUBMIT. You could literally take a dump on a sheet of paper and entitle it "C.C. & Company" and it will go up. The funny thing is, I will probably censor it for porn or exploitation, so, uh, it's uh, funny, no? 'Cause it's till censored.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Hooray for Holly(Ed)Wood
If you think that Ed Wood's era of low budget filmmaking and laughable rubber monsters died by the mid-60s, think again.
One stoned-out Sunday, I decided to watch the indie sci-fi film SKY LINE on Netflix because mainly it had sexy hipster Eric Balfour battling aliens.
The film cost up to $10 mil to make (mainly due to the CGI digital effects) which returned that investment sixfold with a world-wide take of $67 million.
Eric Balfour told interviewers how he became involved with the independently financed film directed by special-effects supervisors turned directors."I was invited to come down to the Hydraulx office. And the guys… We did a small reading and we went over a couple of scenes. Then they showed me the trailer that they had cut for the movie with their friends. They basically said, "So you want in?" After seeing the trailer I was like, "This looks amazing. I'm totally in."
Most of the action was shot in the high-rise condo where director/producer Greg Strause lives for $500,000. The visual effects in Post jacked the budget up to $10 million. The Brothers Strause say that they have a sequel in mind. They will do it with their own money if they have to and try to find a distributor after that. Somewhere Ed Wood is smiling.
In the true Ed Wood tradition, SKY LINE offer actors in a one-set, claustrophic setting (ie: a Hi-RISE in LA's Marina) due to budget limitations - as well as featuring crow-barred "emotional" moments for the cast to chew on - which is laugh inducing because they are on the verge of extinction but cannot get past their petty hangups. One actor has a rather noticeable and distracting speech impediment. While playing macho - he has to utter lines with way too many R's for him to handle. Oh, and the aliens are brain-gulping flappy vagina monsters.
Best of all, Eric Balfour has a beat down scene with an alien monster on the rooftop that brings a flashback to Ed Wood's BRIDE of the MONSTER ("Just roll around with the octopus.").The CGI effects are decent - but unfortunately CGI (or in Ed Wood's case : stock footage) cannot do everything a director needs to tell a story, and a group of actors must always fill in the gaps. As we all know, this is where the real low-budget comedy comes in. Some things never change.
Don't Look Up (at the screen!)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
My Fight Club Fake Criterion Cover
Chuck Palahniuk was looking for these for a Gallery, I've wanted to do a Fake Criterion, so here it is:
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